The Doctor Is In
by randomplotbunny
Summary: Jim and Sherlock have messed up one too many times and John has decided it's time they learned a lesson in not ignoring him. With Mycroft's help the doctor escapes their sight and heads to America to be introduced to a different breed of insane genius. But how will the Rogues Gallery react to their new doctor in his fluffy jumpers? And will they ever let him leave again?
1. Chapter 1

_AN: I want to dedicate this story to_ sweetmarly _who's review of one of my other works motivated me to flesh out and write up this story, without them this idea would have just continued to remain ignored in my ideas notebook._

 **Disclaimer: I own neither Sherlock or Batman, I'm just not that lucky.**

John stalked angrily through the halls of the Diogenes Club before letting himself into Mycroft's office and taking a seat across from the 'minor' government official, not even caring that he was wrinkling his wedding suit with his tense posture. An hour passed in silence as John silently fumed and glared a hole in the wall behind Mycroft's desk and said man finished with whatever paperwork he was intent upon.

Finally the paperwork was set aside and the elder Holmes finally looked up at the man across from him.

"May I say you look positively splendid for your wedding, John?" The doctor didn't even glance at his best mate's brother, only became more tense. Mycroft sighed as he leaned back in his chair. "If I had to guess I'd say you were the only one they did not inform that the date for your wedding had been changed, am I right?" John worked his jaw in anger but still said nothing. "And why, pray tell, did you come to me instead of finding and complaining to your paramour?" John finally looked away from the wall and made eye contact with the man he'd come to see.

"This is the _third time_ the wedding has been pushed back!" John near snarled before making a visible effort to reign his temper in. "The other two times I could accept because they were honest emergencies that even had _you_ scrambling, but _this_ time? No. _This_ time he is off playing games with _your brother_ and doing god only knows what. I haven't even seen either man in six weeks, haven't heard from either of them personally in three! If it wasn't for Sebastian letting me know that they were alive, _and planning to be back in time for the wedding_ , I would have assumed they'd fallen off the face of the Earth! Or worse, eloped with each other!'" Mycroft couldn't help but wince at that horrifying image, it was bad enough his little brother's best friend was set to marry the criminal mastermind. "It is beyond the pale to move _my wedding_ without _at least_ informing me! Well, I've had it. If they want to ignore me then fine, I'll ignore them too. And that is where you come in."

"Oh? And what can I do?" Mycroft had let the doctor ramble on and get everything off his chest, knowing from past experience with the man that it was the easiest way to calm him and get to the heart of the matter, and now peirced the other with a shrewed stare. He may already know what John wanted, and already had a plan in mind to help him- while helping himself, of course- but he was not above making the other say it out loud.

John took a deep breath before gritting his teeth and laying out what he wanted to the only man in the World smart and powerful enough to make it happen.

"I want to disappear. I want _them_ to not know where I've gone or know what I am doing, I want them to worry over me as I've had to worry over them. And in the end I want them to realize that they can't treat me as if I will always be there whenever they dine to have time for me, they need to realize that they _have to work_ to have me back in their lives!" By this point John was panting and didn't know if he wanted to scream or cry. He settled for taking deep breaths and calming himself down.

"I think that is doable, Dr Watson." Mycroft assured with a smirk. "But tell me, how comfortable might you be working with the criminally insane?" John just snorted and rolled his eyes.

"I've survived close habitation with first Sherlock and now Jim for three years, I'd say dealing with those of regular insanity would be quite easy at this point." Mycroft flashed the doctor a smile full of teeth at this.

"We shall see, John."

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Sebastian was trying to remain still and not fidgit as he waited for his Boss' plane to land, he knew how his Boss hated bad news and what he had to tell him now... Sebastian wondered if he'd live out the day.

Too soon and not soon enough the private jet was taxing into the hanger and Sebastian was meeting his Boss and Sherlock Holmes as they disembarked. Near luminescent blue eyes were the first to rake over him before narrowing, but it was his Boss' scathing 'What's happened?' that had him fighting to remain composed. Falling into his military training he gave his report in as toneless a voice as possible.

"Sir, as of this morning it has been confirmed that Dr Watson went missing ten days ago, specifically on the day the two of you were to be married." The two men in front of him froze at these words and Sebastian hurried on before sharp words, and possibly sharper blades, could be thrown at him. "The last verifiable sighting of Dr Watson was of him entering the Diogenes Club, supposedly to speak to Mycroft Holmes on an unknown topic," Seb swallowed and struggled to remain cool as his Boss began to slowly inch towards him with clear menace in his eyes. "He had just come from the Church and was still wearing his wedding suit at the time." Jim froze and sent a panicked look over towards Sherlock, who was looking equally startled. They had forgotten to tell John the wedding had been moved... again.

"It took so long to realize that the doctor was missing as someone resembling Dr Watson left the Diogenes Club wearing the wedding suit, went to the Baker street Flat and proceeded to shut himself in as if he were a man trying to hide from the world. The imposter is believed to have slipped away during the lunch rush with the other Speedy's patrons the next day." Sebastian finished, half relieved the two geniuses were still looking at each other and half scared out of his wits for the moment they would focus back on him.

"Sebastian, call for another car, Sherly here needs to go see his dear brother." Jim said in an overly calm voice, one many a man had heard just before they stopped hearing anything at all. "I, on the other hand, need to speak to those who were watching my precious Johnny that day and let an imposter fool them." With that Jim turned and headed for his car and Sebastian breathed a sigh of relief at this, possibly temporary, reprieve.

"The only reason he didn't just kill you is because John likes you," Seb had nearly forgotten the other genius was there and so jumped slightly at the sudden cold voice far too near him. "Just remember that, because if anything has happened to John then you won't have to worry about Jim taking his anger out on you, you'll need to worry about my getting my hands on you. And I can assure you, I am _far_ less forgiving than he is." Sebastian couldn't help but shudder at the menace behind those words or the dark promise in those bright eyes even as the man turned to go find a cab to take him back to the city.

Sebastian was soon alone in the hanger and, not for the first time, wondered how such a sweet, caring and ordinary man like John Watson was able to wrap two such volitile personalities around his little finger as he had.

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John's phone beeped with a text from Mycroft's assistant letting him know his idiots were back in the country and looking for him and John gave a wistful little smile, he really missed them.

Shaking off the nostalgia John straightened up in his chair and began preparing for his very first patient in his new job while hardening his resolve. Those two deserved a taste of their own medicine, and this six month stint working as a psychiatrist- he'd protested that he wasn't licensed for it and Mycroft had easily taken care of that 'small' detail on the merit of his having lived with Sherlock and Jim for so long without having gone insane himself- would be just the distraction he needed to not go racing back to them.

Soon enough John was as prepared as he was going to get and went to meet his patient that by then should have already been restrained and locked in the secure room set aside for private sessions.

"Hello, my name is Dr John Watson, you may call me John, and I'll be taking over your case for the foreseeable future. Now I see you have a list of asliases and false identities listed in your file but I just want to know what you would prefer to be called since your real name isn't listed." John said all this polietly as he took a seat across from the straightjacketed and shackled man already seated at and secured to the table.

"Just call me Joker, everyone does." The Clown Prince of Crime then broke into peals of laughter even as he observed this new doctor they'd sent to try and 'fix' him. With his frumpy sweater and kind demeanor the clown gave him a week before he cracked and ran like all the others, two if he was stubborn.

John just smiled politely and waited for his patient to calm down so that they could begin.


	2. Chapter 2

_AN: This is a big one! By my standards, anyway, I don't normally get over two-thousand words. And be warned: I made up some laws and psychiatry techniques and am treating them as serious matters, it's one of the reasons I love fanfiction so much. :-)_

 **Disclaimer: I do not own anything you recognize!**

Batman silently crept through the halls of Arkham, he'd come to investigate why all his bugs in the Patient Interview Rooms and in the High-Security Ward's main doctor's office had suddenly ceased working. He knew that it had to be related somehow to the new doctor that had been hired, on a short six month contract which was highly unusual, but needed to be sure. He couldn't take the risk that one of the numerous villians incarcerated there had gained enough freedom of movement to find and deactivate or remove all the bugs.

A sweep of the Patient Interview Rooms showed that all the bugs had been removed, he replaced them and added more in different and more concealed locations even though it meant the sound quality would be compromised if he had to rely on them, he then moved on to the High-Security Ward's main doctor's office; the office belonging to the new doctor.

Batman had done his research as soon as he learned of Dr John H. Watson being contracted from abroad for a six month tenure as psychiatrist to Gotham's most dangerous, and had learned almost nothing. He had, of course, found the man's army records- mostly classified or redacted- as well as his school records- a few notations for fights, mostly while protecting others from bullies- and copies of his medical degrees and licenses- his psychiarty license was a recent aquirement but was otherwise in order- but beyond that there was almost nothing to be found on the man save for a blog that read like a series of mystery oriented short stories rather than real life.

With everything that he could find Batman could only come to the conclusion that Dr Watson was a good man with good intentions, it made him highly suspicious. No one could be as nice as Dr John Watson appeared to be without some nefarious motivation, and he would find out what it was.

Slipping inside the appropriate office Batman quickly found that his bugs were missing here too, but before he could begin replacing them there was a cough from the doorway followed by the lights coming up. Retaining as much dignity as he could, Batman stood in the middle of the office he'd just broken into as if he belonged there and tried to stare the other person down.

It didn't work.

John held the gaze of the figure dressed like a bat that stood in the middle of his office until they clenched their teeth, as close to fidgeting as someone so controled was likely to get, before tightening his robe around himself, moving into the office and going to stand behind his desk. Batman moved only enough to keep the doctor in his sights and in front of him.

"I was wondering when you'd be by, I've been hearing a lot about you." John opened a drawer in his desk and pulled out a small box, he dumped the bugs in it out on his desk. They'd all been smashed. "I believe these are yours?" John asked sternly though politely. He wasn't surprised when he didn't get an answer, he was well used to Sherlock's game of remaining silent so as to not incriminate himself, after all, so he chose to treat this situation like he would if it were Sherlock in front of him instead of a tights wearing vigilante.

"I take doctor/patient confidentiality very seriously and do not appreciate it when someone tries to violate it," John had had this arguement with Mycroft several times, and eventually won, so knew just the tone to take to get his disapproval across. "You will _not_ bug my office or the Patient Interview Rooms again while I am here, nor will you be going through my patient's _private_ therapy notes unless they give permission for you to do so, and then only while I'm present. Do I make myself clear?" Batman gave no indication that he'd even heard John's reprimand but John expected no less, Sherlock wouldn't have given one either.

"Now, if you'd like to talk to me about a patient then I will be happy to do so, so long as I am not breaking their confidence, but only during buisness hours. I am too old to be dragged out of bed for conversations that should take place during the day, preferably over tea." John sighed wistfully, tea sounded really nice right then, tea and a rooftop chase to get the blood pumping. He pulled himself back to reality and focused on his guest again. "It is late, or early depending on your point of view," John threw a glare at the digital clock on his desk with it's happy glowing numbers showing it to be not quite four in the morning, "and I have a full schedule later today, so unless you want to make an appointment for a session of your own I would suggest calling it a night." John then held an expectant look on the other until he recieved a small nod, John nodded back before heading for the door and turning the lights out again.

"How did you even know I was here?" The soft, gravely question out of the dark stopped the doctor and he turned to the corner he knew the other to be standing in, even though the voice had sounded like it came from the other side of the hall.

"My bestmate has a tendency to creep along in shadows like he lives in them, usually without realizing he's doing so until he's popped out again and scared the daylights out of me, and my fiancee walks like a ghost on most occasions. I've gotten used to listening to my insticts and just knowing when someone is lurking nearby, and in a place like this I'm not about to let my guard down." John waited a moment, and when no other questions came from the presence in the corner he returned to his room. He didn't really like sleeping in an asylum, even if it was in the administrative/residential wing and away from the cells the patients resided in and he wasn't the only doing it, but knew it was the easiest way to keep from being caught on camera and quickly found by Jim and Sherlock.

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Batman returned home in a contemplative mood, slept for a few hours and then got ready for a day as Bruce Wayne. When he did a quick check he almost wasn't surprised to see that all his knewly planted bugs from the night before had already been found and destroyed, even his best hidden ones.

"Tell me, Alfred," Bruce asked over breakfast, taken in the kitchen with his old friend as he was feeling a rare need for comfort, "do you have special classes in the UK to learn how to sound disapproving or is it a gift brought on by the accent?" The old butler paused a moment in sipping his tea before turning a slightly bemused look on the younger man.

"And just who with a British accent disapproved of you, young Master?" Alfred tried to hide it but it was clear he was amused by the idea of the Batman being on the recieving in of someone's disapproval, and affected by it enough to be seeking comfort in the same way he did as a child. By invading the kitchen and not letting Alfred out of his sight.

"The newest doctor at Arkham," Bruce explained with a small laugh at the memory, though he was still a little disturbed at having been caught so easily and not getting any answers, only more questions. "He caught me in his office and then repremanded me like a school boy caught peeking into the girls lockerroom." Alfred chuckled at this and the mental image of Batman hauled in front of a school dean for punishment. "He said I should make an appointment if I want to learn what is going on with his patients, or to see him for sessions myself." Bruce sipped his coffee and so missed the look Alfred sent him.

"Perhaps you should take him up on the offer," the Butler said this casually and continued on before his boy could start making excuses as to why he didn't need to see a psychiatrist, the same excuses he'd been making for decades now. "It would get you close to him so you can keep an eye on him as well as learn his technique and what he is doing with his other patients, plus it would allow you time to interrogate him over how his other patients are doing." Alfred refilled their drinks as he saw his old ward wavering on the subject of finally seeing someone about his trauma. "And if you are worried about his possibly selling out your secret identity, well, you have already seen how protective he is over doctor/patient confidentiality." Alfred let the subject go after that, pleased to see his boy actually thinking about it.

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Harley Quinn had her first appointment with the new doctor that morning after breakfast and wasn't really looking forward to it considering how the others came out acting after their sessions with the doc, they'd all come back... weirdly contemplative- even Mr J, and that had just been too odd. She'd never seen her Puddin' look so introspective before, even when she was his therapist.

And they all had these notebooks that they were writing in and didn't wanna talk about, it was really getting to her that she didn't know what to expect.

It was finally time for her session and she put on her happy/deranged face to cover her nerves and let herself be taken to the interview room and cuffed to the table. A few minutes later and a short, blonde man came in with a file in hand.

"Hello, Dr Quinzel, I'm Dr John Watson, you may call me John." Only a few seconds in an Harley was already confused and thrown off her game, she didn't like it.

"What game you trying to play, bub? I ain't no doctor no more, not since I got locked up in this looney bin." John just gave the young woman across from him a small smile before opening the file and turning it for her to see where it showed her as a doctor, still fully licensed and able to take up a practice tomorrow if she wanted to.

"I was a little surprised to see that you were still listed as a licensed doctor- the same for doctors Isley and Crane, and Mr Dent is still listed as an active lawyer- so I asked a friend to do a little digging and find out why," John pulled out a copy of a legal document he'd brought with him and showed it to the now interested blonde. "It seems that in this State, as well as a few others, that it is illegal to strip a person who has been deemed legally insane of their ability to gain employment." Harley took the print off of tightly packed legal jargan in hand almost reverently, she couldn't understand a word of what was written but was highly intrigued by what it represented.

"From what I could find it was a law passed so that if someone who was deemed legally insane were to be 'cured' and deemed sane again they could then rejoin society as a contributing citizen rather than as a ward of the State and a drain on the taxpayers. They could, of course, still be judged for their actions and stripped of any licenses or titles that they hold, but only after they have been deemed sane." John then smirks a little and leans in to whisper the next part like he's imparting a great secret, Harley leans in as well, completely hooked on what he's saying. "There's even a few cases where this law was used so that someone deemed legally insane was still able to work. My favorite ones were the lawyer who was deemed insane for wearing a goose as a hat that continued running his practice for ten years from the asylum until he proved his own case and was released and a female doctor deemed insane for wanting a divorce only to end up running the asylum as she was better qualified than the then administration." Harley couldn't hold back her giggles at that and her opinion of this John guy went up.

"That's great an' all, doc, but I still don't go by Quinzel no more. I'm Harley Quinn now, and proud of it!" She smiled big and was glad to see the doc smiling back instead of cringing away like so many others did when she got enthusiastic over something.

"Alright then. So how does Dr Quinn sound?" Harley wrinkled her nose at that, it sounded too much like a tv show. "Would Dr Harley be preferable?" John asked politely, aware he'd already made some progress but could backslide at any moment.

"Why you insisting on calling my a doc, doc? No one else hardly even remembers that I was one!" John just straightened up the folder in front of him, letting the younger woman keep the printoff of the law as he would for every patient that that law effected, and sent the blonde a slightly sad smile.

"You worked hard for your degree, you put a lot of effort into achieving the position you held before your... fall from grace, and as the title is still legally yours it is only right to acknowledge that hard work by addressing you by the appropriate title." Harley bit her lip and looked down to staighten the crumpled piece of paper in her hands as she composed herself, this doc- no, she told herself, Dr John; he deserved the honorific more than any other doctor she'd ever known- this Dr John was just too good a guy to survive this place and she hoped he got out before it destoyed him.

"You can call me Dr Harley, if you wanna." Harley said in a smaller voice than she'd used in a long while and was pleased when Dr John just nodded and changed the subject.

"Now, onto my treatment plans, which are probably not going to mesh with those of the other doctors you've had, but that's because my goal here isn't to force you to change who you are in order to make you fit better into the narrow concepts of what society deems 'sane' and 'normal'. My goal is to try and help you realize that you don't need those narrow definitions inorder to define yourself, but that you are already who you should be and just need a little help in finding your place in society without scaring the cattle too much." Harley couldn't hold back a giggle at this.

"It sounds like you're gonna try and make me a better Harley Quinn rather than try and turn me back into Harleen, Dr John!" Harley's laugh trailed off into shocked silence when all John did was smile politely and nod.

"There is nothing wrong with being Harley Quinn, or even with being Harleen Quinzel, so long as it is who _you_ want to be." Harley could only stare wide eyed at the man across from her.

"I don't think society has a place for me, Dr John, they don't like people or things that don't fit into a mold." John gave a wistful smile at that, reminded of Sherlock when they first met and the genius' conviction that he could never fit in but had to fight to make even a small place for himself in the world. It had taken time but John had proven him wrong.

"Don't worry about that right now, Dr Harley, let's just focus on you and let the rest of the world worry about itself for now." John then pulled out a notebook, the same kind that Harley had seen all his other patients with. "I have a bit of homework for you to do, nothing too hard, I just want you to write about something or someone that irritates you and the reasons, as far as you know them, about why they irritate you."

"Oh, this is easy, Batman irritates me!" John gave a weary chuckle to this even as he passed the notebook over.

"So far everyone has given that answer," and considering I had to run him out of the building last night I can see why, John added to himself, "but I still would like you to write about why he irritates you. Give some situational examples of normal confrontations with him, then list out what could have gone differently or what you may have done differently to bring about a different outcome." Harley took the notebook and slipped the printoff inside the cover, which she was happy to see was a striped red and blue, and began thinking over how much she was going to enjoy these sessions with Dr John if they all went this pleasant. Maybe she could do something to make surre he wasn't run off too soon?

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Poison Ivy was sitting with Scarecrow when a bubbly Harley came back from her appointment with the new doctor. They watched as she sat down next to Joker, Hatter and Riddler, some of those who had been to see the new man, and joined them in writing something in those notebooks they wouldn't let anyone else see and gushed about something they were too far away to hear in her typical chatter. It was a far cry from the nervousness she'd shown just before going.

"Do you suppose it is a type of mind control?" Ivy asked, worried over her blonde friend.

"We'll be finding out soon enough if it is or if it isn't. I've got the last appoinment of the day, right after Harvey, and you go tomorrow, right?" Ivy just nodded, nervous over what strange power this new doctor had and wondering if she'd be strong enough to resist it.


	3. Chapter 3

_AN: This is a Joker heavy chapter where Joker gets a backstory all his own. He thought he wasn't getting enough attention and told me to fix it and make it interesting, **or else.** So I did.  
Hope you all enjoy! And brownies for anyone who recognizes the new character before his name gets said! :-D_

 **Disclaimer: I own nothing but my own imagination! Or it owns me, I forget which.**

Joker sat straight-jacketed and secured to the table in the Patient Interview room, waiting for Dr John- as Harley had gotten most of the man's patients to call him- and glaring down at the full notebook he'd been dilligently working on for the last week in an attempt to keep himself distracted from all else that had been discussed in their first session. It had only partly worked.

He'd admit that it had been kinda fun, and enlightening, to go back over his interactions with Batsy and figure out what had gone wrong as well as what he could have done differently, but it hadn't been enough to keep him from dwelling on what he had learned; or on what proof he was supposed to be presented with this session.

 **Flashback  
**

 _"Joker it is, then," John said once the clown had calmed enough for conversation. "And before we begin I just want to assure you that I've been read into your file, the little of it that is Top Secret and below that is, and can get you in touch with your old handler on a secure line in you need me to." Joker stared in confusion at this for a moment before bursting out laughing again._

 _"What are you yammering on about, doc? What 'Top Secret' file? This ain't a spy movie, you know!" John stared in confusion of his own for a moment before comprehension dawned. Opening Joker's Arkham file John found the report he was looking for._

 _"Your file states that you claim amnesia from the time you fell into that vat of chemicals and can not remember anything from before you emerged again as the Joker, but every doctor you've had has made notations saying that they belive that claim is a false-front put up to get out of giving your real name. Are you saying that you honestly don't remember_ anything _from before you became... you?" Joker was intrigued by the other's aggitation and so chose to give a rare straight answer._

 _"Nothing since I pulled myself out of that lovely chemical bath, can't help that the docs are never satisfied with that answer." Joker gave the other a leer that quickly changed to curiosity as the Brit frowned. "What's up, doc? You saying_ you _know something about my past that neither I nor my lovable Batsy have been able to find out?" The clown teased._

 _"I do, actually." John said slowly, trying to process that his patient really didn't know who he once was while also attempting to organize his thoughts enough to explain what he knew of the man's past in a coherent manner. Joker just stared, waiting expectantly for whatever the doc was going to say, he didn't believe this little man would know anything and was expecting a bunch of artful lies he could tear to shreds before tearing into the man himself for poking at such a sore subject._

 _"I... wasn't read into everything, my security clearance isn't high enough for that, but I was told some so that if it came up while I was here I wouldn't be surprised and could help get you back in touch with your contacts if you needed help doing so." John scrubs a hand over his face before looking at the clown staring blankly at him. "I don't know what your real name is, or even any of your aliases besides the one you came to Gotham under, but I do know who you worked for and what you did. You were a Fixer, nominally affiliated with and working for the British Government, and you hired your services to any government allied with Britain that had a problem that they didn't want to deal with and was willing to give you immunity for any and all actions you chose to take to 'fix' their problem" Joker just raised a brow, if this was all lies then they were at least interesting ones._

 _"Terrorists cells, political movements going against the current regime, gangs growing too big and upsetting 'polite society'; as long as you had free reign to do as you pleased to handle the problem you went in. You were reportedly among the absolute best in the field, until the American Government hired you to loosen the stranglehold the mob had on Gotham, that is. It seems you came here as a thief named Red Hood and were making some headway into the mob problem when they caught up with you, then Batman got involved and... you know the rest." Joker was silent for a few long moments before he finally snorted and looked away._

 _"You make me sound like a modern day pirate, sanctioned by a government to destroy it's enemies while they claim plausible deniability. Sounds ludicrous... could be true." Joker pondered before shooting John a sharp look. "I'll want proof before I believe a word of it." John nodded, already planning to ask Mycroft for Joker's entire file, or at least for him to send someone with the relevant information._

 _"I'll see what I can do. I can't promise miracles, but I'll call in some favors and let you know as soon as I know something." Joker nodded and they sat in silence for a few minutes before John cleared his throat and pulled out a purple and green notebook._ _"We only have about ten minutes left so I'd like to go over the homework I'm going to be giving everyone."_

 **End Flaskback**

The door opening snapped the clown out of his musings and over to the two men entering the room, one being Dr John and the other an unknown man in a suit holding a briefcase- one that was wired with an incendiary device to destroy its contents if it was opened incorrectly, if his untrained eye was spotting the tells correctly.

"Joker, I'd like you to meet James. James has a high enough clearance to go over your file with you, or at least to hand it over to you for the duration of our session if you want to go through it yourself." Joker narrowed his eyes on the tall, blonde, broad-shouldered man a moment before nodding. Whoever this James was he was prepared for violence, dishing it out or taking it, and Joker could respect that.

"I'l go over it myself if it's all the same to you." Joker said, he was then surprised when the doctor walked over and began undoing his restraints to free his hands.

"We'll have to put them back on before the orderlies show up or they'll panic, but until then this should make turning pages easier for you." With a reasurring smile to the shocked clown John turned away and took a seat in the corner, put in some earbuds attached to a music player and opened a file to began writing- Joker would lay money he was actually doing a crossword- while the besuited man took the seat opposite the clown.

"You honestly don't remember anything, do you?" The man asked and Joker gave him a flat look, the man just gave an unconcerned chuckle. "You trained me when I first joined MI6, you know, I wouldn't be half as successful as I have been if it hadn't been for you." Before the clown could comment on that tidbit of information the briefcase was opened as a thick dossier was laid out in front of him.

"Your real name is Jack Napier, though you haven't gone by it since you were fourteen and blew up the hideout of the gang that was terroizing your hometown, and are a certified genius with an IQ of over 180." The man began as Joker opened the large file and saw a picture of a much younger version of himself with brown eyes and hair looking smugly into the camera, it was followed by a bunch of personal information- he'd apparently graduarted high school at the age of eight before going to college and working on doctorates in both chemistry and bio-technology- as well as several pages detailing his path of destruction through eight states and three countries. It seems he celebrated his fifteenth birthday in Japan, and made an enemy of the Yakuza at the same time.

"At sixteen you were finally caught and then got bounced around the various intelligence agencies for a while but were found to be uncontrolable, though very good at spotting weak links and exploiting them." Joker smiled at seeing the detailed reports that accredited him with weeding out several spies and serious drug addicts from the institutions that had tried to hold him as he had used them to escape time and again. Turning a page the clown frowned at finding a recommendation for termination.

"As I said, you were uncontrolable. But thankfully MI6 stepped in and got to you before the Americans could finalize anything." Joker skimmed over the next several pages detailing training and testing results, all with the highest scores possible to get, until he got to a page that was mostly blacked out, he looked up sharply at the other man then.

"Your first mission, like so many others, 'never happened'." Joker flipped through about eight more missions that 'never happened' before landing on a contract of employment to someone called Mycroft Holmes, the rest of the file- about three-fourths of its thickness- was all neatly laid out and readable, all under this Mycroft's purview and all refering to him under the code name of Kaos*.

"Mycroft Holmes... I'm sure Dr Watson could tell you more about him than I can, they're practically family from what I've seen, but I can tell you that Holmes is a singularly dangerous individual with a lot of power behind him, but he also takes care of his opperatives while giving them a lot of freedom to get the job done. In truth I wouldn't be surprised if he sent John here just to check up on you, though I also don't doubt that that wouldn't be the only reason." Joker cast a glance over at the quietly humming man in the corner who looked so harmless before going back to the file in front of him. If any of this was true- and he was finding it harder and harder to doubt it, especially with the level of detail put into the fiile in front of him- then he had done some crazy stuff in his life, and it explained so much about how and why he knew the things he did.

There was silence then for a while as the notorious Clown Prince of Crime quietly and quickly read through the dozens of reports in the dossier before pausing at one near the end. It wasn't so much what was listed that gave him pause- he'd gone in as an accountant to a shipping yard to take down an international drug ring- but the name he'd used: Joseph 'Joe' Kerr. It made him snicker, then chuckle, then out right cackle in his hysterical way at finally knowing why he'd been so adamant about calling himself Joker once he'd regained enough of his senses to wonder who he was, it was the name he'd gone by just before coming to Gotham!

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John saw a silently brooding Joker wheeled out of the interview room and back to the High-Security Common Area with a new notebook to continue his homework with, or to vent anything else he might feel the need to write down, before heading back to his office to talk with James before he left again.

"I'm not sure if I'm sad to see someone of such natural talent so removed from who they once were or if I'm just happy that someone I had considered a friend is still alive and finally recieving help in recovering themselves after so long." James said as John entered the office and sat down across from him.

"I understand the sentiment, it was quite a shock to learn that he didn't actually remember anything, but you shouldn't get your hopes up too much. There is no guarantee that he'll ever regain those memories, and as he has accepted himself as The Joker it is unlikely that even if those memories did resurface that he would revert to who he once was." They sat in silence for a moment, each lost in thoughts over the man they were discussing. John finally broke the silence with a welcome change of subject.

"And how have you been lately? The last time I saw you you were butting heads with the new M, have things settled down any?" James chuckled as he sat back in his chair, he'd have to leave soon but he could spend a bit of time catching up with his old friend.

"Just some forgotten family troubles popping up to try and destroy my career, and the World, nothing too different from the norm really. Though I did finally ask that geeky little man I told you about out." James smiled as he remembered Q's face as he asked him, and the blush that had spread over the younger man's cheeks as he'd said yes.

"I'm glad, you've been pining after him since you met." John teased.

"I do not pine." James objected, though soon he was joining John in a laugh. He then turned serious.

"John, about that fiancee of yours..." John just sighed and cut his friend off.

"He's causing problems while looking for me, isn't he? What has he done now, taken Parliament hostage until I return?" James snorted before giving John a glare.

"Don't give him ideas like that or else he just might. No. He hasn't done anything that anyone can find, and it's worrying a lot of people. Especially as he's working so closely with that sociopath friend of yours." James then leaned in towards John, his expression earnest. "I understand why you're doing this to them, and I support your decision, but you should know that there are others who are willing to forcably reunite you with those two just so they don't have to worry about what they might be up to together. Mycroft Holmes can not hide your trail forever, not when he's gettng pressure from his colleagues and bosses as well as his little brother and your fiancee to give up your location." James sat back then, knowing he had to leave now or be late.

"I'm not saying forgive them, but maybe throw them a bone? Let them know you're still alive and not returning until they've learned their lesson or something?" John nodded and was soon alone with many things to think about while preparing for his next patient. One question in particular kept circling his mind: When did my life get so complicated?

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Jim sipped his tea- not nearly as good as John's- as he watched one of the monitors on the desk in front of him, he didn't bother looking up or around as the door behind him opened- anyone who got this far in without tripping security either belonged there or were so good they deserved a chance at ending him, but only the one. But in this case he simply knew who it was and knew he was in no danger.

"Were you able to gather what the double O was transporting?" Jim asked as the taller man went to lay down of the sofa, the one brought in just for him to do so.

"Yes. Were you able to track him?" Jim just curled his lip in a sneer at that, the Ice Man was being unresonably thorough in covering people's tracks lately.

"And just what was that... _friend_ of my dear sweet Johnny carrying that had him rushing off so quickly to 'catch up with an old friend'?" They'd been monitoring everyone that their John might reasonably, or unreasonably, have contact with and had gotten lucky- as much as they hated admitting to that fact- when they picked up a conversation between one James Bond and his newest love interest about why he was having to reschdule their date.

"It was the dossier for an inactive field agent called Kaos." Sherlock said and Jim choked, if he'd been drinking in that moment he was sure he'd have done a cliche spit-take, he then began to laugh. Sherlock just frowned, he'd never heard of this Kaos before and didn't like being out of the loop.

"Sorry Sherly, its just that Kaos was the only opperative that ever worried me while I was building my Empire, worried me more than you ever did, he dropped off the map before I could make a move to either buy him or kill him and hasn't been heard from since. And now it seems our Johnny has found him!" Jim continued to laugh and Sherlock settled in to wait out the other's mirth. He was quietly amazed that once again John seemed to be attracting extrordinary people to him, but was also mildly worried that John may not want to return if those people turned out to be too interesting.

)

 _*Yes I spelled it that way intentionally, anyone who has read the Discworld novel Thief of Time should know why. :-)_


	4. Chapter 4

_AN: Sorry, had this written out a week ago but got mugged by life so wasn't able to type it up. Hope it's worth the wait!_

 _And a warning on this chapter for sexual harassment, possibly attempted assault but it doesn't actually get that far before the idiot gets what he deserves, and more. It's confined to one paragraph near the end, you can skip it by skipping down a paragraph once the orderly starts talking._

 **Disclaimer: I own nothing recognizable.**

John finally realized just how pressured Mycroft had to be to give up his location when the ginger was nearly enthusiastic about setting up a Skype call between him and his boys. The man had audibly sighed in relief, which was something John didn't think him capable of doing! So soon John was sat in front of his office computer, all things that could give away his location out of the camera's view- Mycroft had helped him with that, as well as coaching him in a few key points to avoid talking about or hinting at- and waiting for the call to come through.

All too soon his computer chimed and John was face to face with his fiancee and his best friend.

"Johnny!" Jim gushed even as both he and Sherlock absorbed every detail they could of John and his surroundings to try and locate him. For his part John was happy to see them both and to confirm for himself that they seemed to be doing well, he had missed them and worried a lot about them, but could feel a new rush of anger stir in his chest as he remembered just why it had been so long since he had seen them.

"Jim, Sherlock, it's good to see you both. I've missed you... What has it been? Just over two months now since you both took off into the night without even a text of explanation, right?" Jim flinched and Sherlock's face went completely blank, the closest he got to flinching, at the anger still clear in John's voice.

"Daddy's sorry, Johnny-boy, he never meant to leave you so abruptly, but things just happened too quickly to focus on anything else besides the problem that needed fixing." John's jaw tightened and Jim knew he had said the wrong thing.

"So I'm to be lumped in with 'anything' now? I had hoped, as your fiancee, that I would recieve a little more regard than that." John seethed, his ire begining to flare as hot as it had on the day he'd stormed Mycroft's office and near demanded help in punishing these two.

Shelock finally spoke up as he saw that Jim wasn't helping their case in getting John to come home.

"A splinter group of the Russian Mafia had gotten hold of a cache of old Soviet balistic missiles, still fully armed, and were trying to sell them. The Russians called in Jim as they couldn't get past their own people to take care of the problem themselves and Jim called me. I went in to track down where they were keeping the missles and to dismantle the warheads while Jim staged negotiations between them and some fake buyers. The entire opperation was to precarious to risk failing for a quick chat." Sherlock explained in his blandest tone that brooked no argument, it was just too bad that John was immune to it.

"So it was too sensitive to contact me, but not sensitive enough to cancel an entire wedding and let everyone but the groom know?" John snipped, about done with this whole conversation. Sure, he was happy that they had taken down a group selling missiles, but he was still pissed about the wedding.

Realizing that they were losing ground, Jim changed strategies.

"John, if you'd just come home we could talk about this, we can work this out. I know we messed up, _I_ messed up, but I miss you and just want to hold you again. It's lonely in our bed without you there, don't you want to come home?" John wavered a moment before his eyes moved to Sherlock and the barely there, you would miss it if you didn't know him VERY well, expectant look he wore. John hardened his resolve and the two noticed, it was now Sherlock's turn to change tactics.

"We know about Kaos, John. He's a very dangerous individual, you are not safe there alone." John just stared a moment before breaking out laughing. "This is not a laughing matter, John, you could get hurt!" John just laughed harder.

"You _idiots_!" He finally managed to gasp out as his giggles began tapering off "I'm an adrenaline junkie who has survived both of you and you think something as nebulous as a potential threat is going to have me running back home with my tail between my legs?" John scoffed, practically insulted. Had Sherlock forgotten how they had met and become friends? The git had said ' _could_ be dangerous' and he'd come running!

Sherlock and Jim both privately acknowledged that it had been a stupid move on their part, but they were getting desperate!

"At least let us send you some help, Johnny, just in case you need it. It'll make me worry less." Jim said in his best pleading voice, the one that always had John melting and had gotten him his first non-kidnapping date with the man.

John sighed, unable to say no to Jim's request when it seemed so reasonable- and was said in that particular tone of voice.

"Talk it over with Mycroft. I won't say no to some extra and _helpful_ assistance here. Did you hear that? Whoever you want to send has to be _helpful_ and not just a bodyguard who would get in my way."

"We heard you, John, help is practically on its way."

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It had been three days since the call so John was only mildly surprised to enter his office to see two people, people he recognized immediately, sitting in his visitor's chairs. With a sigh John rounded his desk and took the seat across from them.

"It's good to see you again Sebastian," John nodded at the other man, who nodded back, before turning to the other occupant of the room. "Irene... aren't you supposed to be dead?" The woman in question just smiled.

"Death was boring and I owed dearest Sherlock a favor, so here I am. Use me how you please, Doctor." John just snorted at The Woman's flirting, they both knew it would be suicidal of her to try anything further. Jim had made it very clear that he didn't share.

"You're a Dominatrix, Irene, what could help me with in an Insane Asylum?" Irene's grin just widened.

"Really, John, do you truly need to ask?" Giving up on The Woman for the moment John turned back to his fiancee's right hand man.

"How have you been doing, Seb?"

"Better now that I'm away from that powder keg of tension your geniuses have built up, and a little surprised that you're hiding out in an asylum. Don't you get enough of the crazies at home?' John chuckled along with Sebastian at that as he finally looked at the new files on his desk detailing what these two had been hired for. He and Sebastian weren't really friends as they didn't see each other much outside of professional settings with Jim barking out orders but they at least knew each other fairly well, and John was a lot more comfortable with the tall and heavily muscled sniper than he was with the petite Dominatrix. Irene was able to get the better of Sherlock, up to a point, and that was just scary.

Reading over the files of the two in front of him John, not for the first time, wondered how Mycroft was able to do such things.

Seb was to take over as Head Orderly, and thus Head of Security for the perpetually short-staffed facility- John had been told by the current Administrator that the reason for the lack of personnel was because of how dangerous the patients were and how few people wanted to interact with them, John hadn't believed it and just wrote it off as bad administrative management- for the High Security Wing and would be reporting to John directly as John was the only doctor assigned to that Wing- again, John put it down to bad management.

Irene would be taking over Head Nurse duties in the High Security Wing's Private Infirmary- added after too many escapes through the regular Hospital Wing- and John leveled her with an incredulous stare as he read over her credentials.

"It kept the insurance down to have a fully trained and licensed nurse on staff, it also made it easier to tell when a client was in actual distress or when they were simply loving it." Irene then grinned wide. "And you should see the reactions I get when I wear my nurses uniform." John just sighed and set the files aside, he refused to engage her in her flirting and was just happy she was actually trained for the position she would be filling.

"Everything is in order, so there is no reason you both can't start tomorrow. You've been shown to your rooms?" John wasn't even going to think on how Mycroft got them the rooms to either side of his own. They both nodded, "Good. Well, we have some time before lockdown tonight so how about I give you both a tour?"

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Harley was happily thumbing through a recently published psychiatry magazine- since Dr John's arrival the available reading materials and entertainment options in the Common Room had expanded a LOT; she hadn't even known they made magazines about tea, and only tea, but Hatter sure seemed to like them, and Eddie had surprisingly been all over the cooking magazines- and relaxing on a sofa- another improvement by Dr John- before having to go back to her cell for lockdown when one of the newer orderlies came lumbering over to leer down at her.

"You're Harley Quinn, ain't ya?" She raised unimpressed eyes to the fool, already seeing where this was going and not liking it. It was one of the times she appreciated all the security cameras all over the place, she couldn't be charged for her actions when defending herself. "I've seen you on the news in those tiny outfits you like to wear," he leaned over her and placed a hand on her knee where it crossed her other leg, she frowned and he didn't seem to notice her tensing up for a fight. "You looked real sexy jumping around, fighting those cops." He began moving his hand up her leg and she prepared herself to beat the disgusting bag of filth to a bloody pulp, with her magazine if she had to. "How'd you like to jump around for m-!"

Harley was just about to throw her first punch- kick, really, right between the legs that were so conveniently spread in front of her- when the man was suddenly pulled away in a blur of movement and a howl of pain. She looked down to the floor in front of her to see a large and well muscled blonde man pinning the idiot to the floor in a very painful manner and whispering something in his ear, the stench of fresh urine soon assailed her nose.

"Are you alright, Dr Harley?" Harley looked up to see Dr John coming close with an intensely beautiful brunette trailing behind him, she smiled.

"Never better, Dr John! Though a little disappointed that I didn't get ta kick 'im in the family jewels." It was one of the things she liked so much about Dr John, he didn't reprimand her for wanting to hurt someone, he just smiled pleasantly and told her he was glad she was alright.

By this point the tall blonde had picked the orderly up off the ground and was presenting him to Dr John like the shorter blonde was the one he needed to fear and should grovel to, the hand holding the orderly's arm up behind his back never loosened.

"And just what do you have to say about your actions?" Dr John asked in a sharp voice none of his patients had ever heard from him before.

"She was askin- AAHHH! My arm! You broke my arm!" The tall blonde took a step back, holding his hands up with an innocent expression as if he hadn't just broken a man's arm while the orderly lay on the floor at their feet screaming in pain.

"It was an accident?" The tall blonde asked with a grin. Dr John just gave him a Look before sighing and looking at the brunette woman who had been watching all this in silence.

"Irene, could you please escort this newly unemployed... person to the Infirmary? I'll be along shortly to take a look at his arm."

"Yes, Doctor." The tall blonde helped the brunette get the ex-orderly to his feet before the woman steered the injured man out under the curious and watchful gazes of nearly all of Gotham's most deadly.

"Shouldn't I go with them? He's already proved to be insanely stupid when confronted with a beautiful woman." Harley preened a little at the compliment to her looks. It was always nice to receive honest compliments, especially when they were unintended.

"I'd be more worried about him, actually, he's liable to trip down some stairs if he tries anything with her." Dr John said, gaining a lot of interest even as he pinched the bridge of his nose in the sign of an oncoming headache.

"But there are no stairs between here and the Infirmary." The tall blonde said with a smirk.

"Then she'll find some!" Dr John said in exasperation before looking around the room and realizing he had everyone's attention. "Well, I guess now would be a good time for introductions," the shorter blonde said with a faint flush. "The man standing next to me is Sebastian Moran, he's going to be the new Head Orderly and Head of Security for this Wing, and the woman who just left is Irene Adler, she's going to be the new Head Nurse for the Infirmary. Any queastions?" Harley had a few, but before she, or anyone, could ask anything one of the nurses from the Infirmary came running in, barely letting the security doors open before beginning to relay her message.

"Dr Watson, come quick, one of the orderlies fell down the stairs! You're the only doctor on site with trauma training and he's bleeding badly!" Dr John and the newly named Sebastian shared a look before taking off, leaving a room full of stunned people behind.

Harley was the one to break the silence with a happy squeal:

"Best. Doctor. EVER!"

No one argued with her.


	5. Chapter 5

_AN: A second chapter so quickly? Why yes, yes it is. :-)_

 _It's Ivy's turn for the spotlight! And as I know only as much about plants as I need to know to keep my flowers alive I ask that you all go easy on me when it comes to plant biology, that stuff is hard enough without also getting into human/plant hybrid biology as well._

 **Disclaimer: Not mine!**

Irene was taking her duties as Head Nurse very seriously, something she doubted anyone else here had done in years if the amount of misfiled paperwork she had found in her first hour was any indication, and was appalled at the way these Americans were running things. It was as if they didn't even care about the health and quality of life of the patients!

She knew that the Arkham High Security Wing housed many very dangerous individuals, individuals that many may enjoy seeing suffer for their crimes, but the level of neglect and lack of care afforded them... it made her sick, it really did.

She was only glad she was the one to discover this and not John, the man may look soft but when it came to the care and protection of those under his authority he was scarier than that fiancee of his, and she'd hate to see what he'd do to those who let things slip so far.

So that is how, for the entirety of her first week as Head Nurse to the famously infamous Rogues of Gotham, she found herself sorting and filing paperwork that was years out of date.

It was also why she was the first to discover something that should have been addressed and taken care of and not left to get worse with time.

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John was setting up for the single late night appointment he had during the week, and the only one to take place in his office, when Irene came in with a thick file sporting a number of bookmarks and a bunch of her hand written notes.

"John, you're going to want to see this. It's important." The Woman said as she set her burden down on his desk and handed him the top sheet of her notes where she had summarized all she'd found.

John read over her summary before glancing through her notes and opening the file to see all the test results for himself that no one else had thought to correlate.

"If what you found is even half right- and I'm not saying you made a mistake, just that someone else could have corrupted the data you're working from- then she'll be entering the beginning stages again soon. I want you to bring her to the Infirmary in the morning and get blood drawn for some tests, we need to find a way to halt the cycle or at least lessen its effects."

"And what should I tell Dr Ivy when she asks what the blood work is for?" John sighed and took a last look at the file before putting it away in his desk.

"Tell her that I'll be talking with her later tomorrow, probably in the afternoon, and that both you and Dr Harley will be there as well for support if she needs it, but that it is nothing to worry about immediately." With that Irene nodded and turned to go, but not before throwing a wink at the man who thought he was so cleverly hidden in the shadows of the office.

Batman did his best not to sigh as the new Head Nurse, apparently an old acquaintance of Dr Watson's, showed she knew he was there. He was really beginning to believe that those born on British soil had some sort of sixth sense that the rest of the world lacked.

"You'll understand why I am not at liberty to discuss what just occured, at least not until or unless I have discussed it with my patient and have her permission to inform you or anyone else." John said as he finished setting up his desk for this final appointment of the day.

Sitting down the doctor waited until the other man came out of the shadows to begin, this was only their second appointment and John didn't want to push the already uncomfortable man. Their first appointment had been awkward enough with the other trying not to give details away that would reveal his identity and John trying to assure the other he had no interest in who he was under the mask, only in his wellbeing.

Batman eventually stepped into the light of the office and decided to ignore what he had just heard, he'd find out eventually- he had copies of all of Arkham's files(at least the ones from before John had showed up) on the Rogues and could go through them himself to figure out what was going on- and instead got to the point of why he was here.

A black notebook was pulled from under the Dark Knight's cape and placed on the doctor's desk.

"I finished the homework you assigned, though I still don't see the point." John made no move to pick up the notebook and instead just watched the other as he paced about the office like a caged tiger. "Aren't you going to open it? Read through it and tell me my problems?" Batman asked, wondering, not for the first time, why he was so uncomfortable with this situation.

"If you would like I can have a look at it, but that is not why I assigned it. I assigned you this homework, just as I assiged it to everyone else, so you could look over your past actions in a new light and possibly come up with alternate methods for dealing with your problems." Batman just stared at the shorter man for a moment before resuming his pacing. He'd put so much effort into writing things out in such a way that they couldn't be traced back to Bruce Wayne and here the man was telling him that he wasn't even going to look inside to see if he had actually done any work...

He didn't understand this John Watson in the slightest and it was putting him on edge.

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Ivy was confused when she was brought to the Infirmary to have blood drawn before breakfast, she was even more confused when she was told that Dr John would be speaking to her later and that she'd be able to bring Harley along for support if she needed it.

She didn't like being confused, it made her irritable.

It was just after lunch when Nurse Adler came to escort her and Harley to the Infirmary where Dr John was waiting with a thick file and a lot of notes, Ivy didn't waste a moment in getting to the point.

"What is going on? What do you think is wrong with me?" She ignored the way Harley held onto her arm, secretly glad the other was being supportive but also not wanting to show weakness at a time like this.

"It's not so much what is wrong with you, though I am sorry if in our rush to get confirmation worried you, but something that is very personal that has been affecting your behavior in negative ways for a while now." Dr John then handed her a piece of paper with a correlation of the last several years of blood work and behavirol obsevations as well as a summary of what they suspected was going on. Realizing what she was looking at she finally calmed and sat down with Harley who was looking confusedly at the paper.

"So her hormones spike before she gets violent and busts outta this joint, so what? I don't see the problem here." Harley said as she read over the paper, not seeing what the others saw since she didn't have any extensive training in biology or physiology, only psychology.

"It isn't just when I 'bust out of' this place, it is still going on when I arrive here after a big fight," Ivy began to explain to her friend. "Four times a year, at the turn of the seasons, I begin... budding." Her cheeks turned a darker green as she blushed in embarrassment even as she began to feel excited. She had thought after she absorbed all those toxins and became the human/plant hybrid that she was that she had lost the ability to have children, but it seemed it had just changed along with the rest of her.

"That's great! You always wanted a little sprout of you're own!" Harley enthused, happy for her friend and still not seeing the problem.

Ivy turned to Dr John hoping he had more to say as she didn't know what to say in the face of her friend's enthusiasm.

"Dr Ivy, I have the results from the blood drawn earlier today as it was just a simple hormone panel, I think you should take a look at it. You are, after all, the foremost expert in plant biology in the world. While I can understand the human factors listed there I am at a loss for the other portions and am hoping you can shed some light on them." Ivy took the offered page and looked at the data on it before setting it down and staring blankly at the wall, a hand resting on her stomache as she was momentarily overwhelmed by everything she was learning about herself.

"Dr Ivy, are you alright?" John asked, worried for his patient.

"Red? Can you hear me? What did that paper say to make her shut down like this?!" Harley demanded, her concern for her friend overriding her like for the doctor. John didn't react to her tone and just handed her the paper.

"The human hormones show that she is... ovulating, I'm not sure what the plant hormones mean. Altogether this shows that she is at the beginning stages of her seasonal 'mood swings' and will soon become violent and attempt to escape and hurt more people. We have no data on what happens while she is free, but the trend shows that after she has been in a fight, usually against the Batman, and been brought back here her hormones return to baseline until the next seasonal change. I really don't know why that is."

"Pruning..."

"Red? You say somethin'?

"The fighting, being hurt and forced to heal, in a way it acts like pruning back dead foliage or unwanted growth." Ivy explained as she started putting the pieces together of what she had just found out and what she had observed about herself but never thought much of.

"My body attempts to... 'bare fruit' at the change of the season, like an all season plant such as figs would since my human half doesn't slow down or speed up for particular seasons like seasonal plants do, and when it isn't able to attract pollenators... it tries to pass on my genetics by sprouting new growth instead. All life is an endless struggle to grow and replicate itself, and my body is attempting to do that in ways it is not designed to do, the sprouting aggravates my human physiology and causes increased hormone levels and violent outbursts as a way to try and stop the unnatural, to my human side, attempts at passing along my genetics. Getting injured halts the attempts at sprouting as all resources are redirected to healing the injury. By then the blooming season is usually over and I go back to normal until the next seasonal turn when it all starts up again. Why did I never realize any of this before?" Ivy mused, still staring at the wall in shock that she might actualy have a chance to be a mother to a child and not just to her plants.

"You didn't have the information necessary to put all this together before, and while it is occuring your mind is overrun with hormones making it impossible for you to think very clearly about why you are doing something so you couldn't put it together then. As it is I would like your permission to contact some people, chemists specifically, to try and help you get this cycle under control since I know it would be foolish to believe that just giving you birth control pills designed for full humans would work in managing your hormone levels, not to mention they wouldn't even address your plant side. May I have your permission?" Ivy thought it over a moment before agreeing, so long as what they gave her wouldn't effect her ability to have children in the future that is.

She wasn't so foolish as to believe she was stable enough to have a child right now, but once her body was no longer attacking itself and causing her to have violent outbursts? She was so going to have the family she always wanted. Now all she had to do was decide who she wanted to father her child.

Before she and Harley headed back to the Common Room, copy of her file in hand to go over herself later, Ivy had a request to make, something she hoped Dr John might be able to accomplish where she knew she couldn't.

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Batman had opened an email account so that he and Dr Watson could communicate faster than his dropping by at random intervals or giving away an easier to trace phone number, so far they had only used it to set up appointment times but now there was a large file attatched to a message.

Bruce's eyebrows reached up to his hairline when he began reading the request, from Poison Ivy herself, for any insight or help he might provide for her problem. He was stunned that she would ask for his help, and concerned that no one had realized she needed that help before.

Batman didn't go out on patrol that night. By morning Alfred would find the man laid out under a table in his chemistry lab, wrapped up in his one of his older capes and sleeping with an alarm on an experiment set up to wake him.

The British butler just shook his head at his young ward's antics and left the man his breakfast, well away from any of his experiments.

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Jim made his way to 221 Baker street, ran the gauntlet of Mrs Hudson's disapproval for 'once again' rescheduling the wedding, climbed up the seventeen steps to the B Flat and finally saw the man he'd been expecting a call from for the last few hours since he'd gone to a meeting with the Ice Man.

For his part Sherlock remained hunched over his microscope with an array of test tubes and notes spread out around him and a look of concentration on his face while completely ignoring Jim's entrance. Jim scowled at the scene.

"Mycy calls you away for an urgent meeting, I don't hear from you for hours and now I find you doing experiments." When Sherlock still made no move to acknowledge him, Jim grabbed his shoulder and forcibly spun him to look at him. Jim's ire softened immediately upon seeing the light in Sherlock's eye, the one he only got when he knew he was about to impress John with his brilliance.

Jim narrowed his eyes but he couldn't keep the smirk off his lips.

"You know where he is." Sherlock's lips twitched minutely, all the confirmation Jim needed. "Where?!" Sherlock didn't answer and just turned back to his experiments, Jim let him do so without comment knowing the other wanted to make the reveal dramatic. It's what he would do if their roles were reversed, after all.

"My dear brother called me in for a special project as he knows no one else in his sphere of influence has the necessary skills to do the task in a timely manner, he made absolutely no mention of John what-so-ever." Sherlock changed out slides and Jim took a seat at the table, waiting for some clues to be dropped.

"There is a woman who has become a human/plant hybrid and has been experiencing seasonal related hormone shifts and attempts at plant growth that are not compatable with her human physiology, all of which is making her violent towards others as her hybrid nature fights itself. It seems she has recently gained a new doctor that has discovered her hormone embalance, an embalance that has been going on for years, and is trying to help her _without_ removing her hybrid status or affecting her reproductive ability as she has no desire to be human again and wants children in the future. And we both know of only one doctor who would be more concerned with his patient's wellbeing than with the saftey or opinion of the rest of the populous, don't we." Sherlock raised his eyes from his microscope in order to raise a brow in Jim's direction in challenge.

Jim barely noticed as his mind was racing as he went over everything they had been able to find out as well as this new information and put it in an order he could see, and hopefully recognize:

-John was working as a doctor is a place where being a new doctor wouldn't stand out, so someplace with a high turnover rate

-John had managed to find, and was possibly treating, Kaos; a long lost Field Agent of Mycroft's who had incredible skills in, well, causing chaos

-Wherever he was was not a public venue or else they would have caught him, or Sebby or That Woman, on camera by now

-John was now treating a human/plant hybrid, a female human/plant hybrid, with violent tendencies

-The woman had had her condition for years with no one else looking close enough at her case to recognize the problem, which implied no one cared enough to look closer, which given her violent tendencies implied she was a criminal...

Jim's eyes lit up with recognition before Sherlock's brow had even begun to lower as he realized where his Johnny had to be: Gotham City, specifically, Arkham Asylum. The woman could only be the renowned, and villianous, Poison Ivy, which would mean that Kaos...

Jim threw his head back and laughed, he'd always thought the Joker's style seemed familiar somehow, and now he knew why!

Sherlock just turned back to his microscope as he took up yet another slide.

"It shouldn't take more than a few days, a week at most, for me to find a way to stabilize Dr Isley's hormones and plant growth, we can leave then."Jim nodded even though the other man wasn't paying him any mind and got up to make them both tea before settling down in the sitting room in John's chair and pulling out his phone to begin making arrangements. It wouldn't do to not be ready to leave out at the first possible moment they could or to not have a place to stay once they got there, neither man was willing to stay in subpar accommodations if they could help it.

Glancing over at the busily working Detective, Jim contemplated for a moment leaving the man behind and going to see his John right away. He dismissed the idea immediately. There was no way he was going to go see John alone after having pissed him off so thoroughly.

"And that is precisely why I didn't go immediately myself." Came the deep rumble from kitchen making Jim roll his eyes. Sometimes he could see what John meant when he said that that was annoying.


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: Do not own!**

John had just entered his office to start the day when his secured personal phone rang, he answered while refusing to question how Mycroft always knew when he was just getting ready for the day.

"Hello, Mycroft."

"Good morning, John, how are you today?"

"Fine, though I assume something has happened if you're calling me."

"Unfortunately, yes. I do hope you are prepared for visitors?" John sighed and ran a hand over his face.

"They know." The ginger on the other end of the line made a humming noise in commiseration, and though John knew it was fake he at least appreciated the effort the other man was putting into at least seeming like he cared when this development was in actuality taking pressure off himself.

"Indeed. It was quite inevitable, really, once they had Dr Isley's medical records in hand. Are you sure you didn't want them to find you?" John rolled his eyes even though the other couldn't see it, though he was certain Mycroft knew he had anyway.

"I don't think so... Maybe subconsciously? But we really needed Sherlock on her case, there are not many with the expertise necessary to help her without damaging one or both of her hybrid halves." It was Mycroft's turn to sigh, there really were too few out there with the proper intellect to accomplish greatness.

"Well, at least you are likely to have a few days to prepare yourself for their visit as they are unlikely to drop in before they have a solution for your patient's problem to present you with."

"There is that. Thank you for the warning, Mycroft."

"Anytime, John. And do give my regards to the Joker, if you would, I do so miss our verbal sparring matches."

A few minutes later Irene and Sebastian entered John's office as they did every morning, to go over any changes or issues that may have come up before the day began, and found John starring off into space with a worried look on his face. Sebastian asked what was wrong and with a strained smile John told them.

"Jim and Sherlock know where I am, they found out because I wanted Sherlock on Dr Ivy's case. We have, maybe, a few days until they show up." He huffed out a breath then and closed his eyes, so he didn't see the look that passed between the other two standing in his office. "I'm still angry with them, but I know once I'm face-to-face with them that I won't be able to stay angry. It's why I had to run away to punish them, I wouldn't have been able to otherwise." With a final sigh John shook himself to dispel his mood and sat forward to finally begin preparations for the day.

A little while later Sebastian and Irene left John's office to begin their own preparations for the day, but not before they shared a significant look in the hallway.

They were going to have to speed up their plan in recruiting some help.

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Joker knew that everyone was wary of the silence surrounding him since his first appointment with John Watson, and for once he couldn't revel in their discomfort as he was too distracted.

Ever since learning about his past he'd been trying to use what he'd learned to leverage his memories out, so far all he'd gotten were headaches and some random flashes of insight about how he'd done some of what he'd read about himself doing. He would try and focus on an event he'd read about and would get the calculations for how much explosive was needed to blow up a hospital- he'd done it while taking out slavers in Croatia- or how to begin infighting in a drug ring through the use of tupperware- that had been in Berlin, but he wasn't sure which time as he'd had multiple missions there apparently.

But even with these interesting details leaking through what he really wanted were the memories, he just wanted to know _who_ he was and not just what he had done.

John had likened his mind to an egg shell under pressure. All the small cracks were leaking out small details but the yolk, or bulk of his memories, was still trapped inside and they just had to find the right method for breaking through the shell to get to it.

So far nothing they had tried had done more than add a few more cracks and fissures, the 'shell' was proving to be very hard to break.

Giving himself a headache with all his brooding, Joker looked up and around for a distraction, and was just in time to see the new nurse, Nurse Addler, come walking into the Common Area and making a bee line for where Harley and the weed were sitting. Blatantly listening in he found himself throughly distracted.

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Irene was a little worried as she entered the High Security Ward's Common Area, but not for herself like one might think. What had her worried is that there were only two orderlies on the whole floor, one frail old man looking like he should have retired already and a scrawny young boy who looked like he should still be in school.

She may have never worked in an asylum before, or in any place requiring a constant security presence for that matter, but she knew that there was supposed to be more security than this!

Ignoring the problem for later, she would take it up with Sebastian once he got back from his meeting in the Administrator's office, Irene made her way over to where Harley and Ivy were sitting and took a seat next to them with a big smile.

"Hi, I was hoping the three of us could have a chat, just us girls, get to know each other... exchange gossip." She raised a brow and the other two instantly understood the message: I have something to tell you but need an excuse for later so I don't get accused of spilling secrets.

"And just who or what would this 'gossip' be about?" Ivy questioned, leaning forward in honest curiosity. Good gossip was hard to find inside Arkham.

"Why, everyone's favorite doctor, of course. He's really far more interesting than his kind demeanor would suggest, you know. For instance, did you know he's engaged to be married?" Harley squealed at this, thus gaining the attention of most everyone in the room.

"Is she pretty? Dr John deserves someone pretty!" Irene smiled, amused at the idea of someone calling Jim Moriarty 'pretty'.

"I'm not sure I'd call _him_ 'pretty', but he is a looker." Harley's eyes go wide at the implication as she gave yet another squeal of delight. "He's almost as good looking as John's bestfriend, though I may be biased. After all, dear Sherlock is the only man I could ever imagine loving and has saved my life on sevreal occasions, and helped me fake my death too. While Jim... he's put a bounty on my head before and set me up to lose everything because he was bored." Irene smirks, knowing she had everyone's attention now. "Personally I don't see what John does in Jim, the man is a true Intelligent Psychopath and has ruthlessly built himself a Criminal Empire that every other criminal organization fears. My dear Sherlock is a far better choice for all that he's a Sociopath, High-Functioning or not, since he at least doesn't work on the premise of 'kidnap first and maybe ask questions later', but John has made it clear that he only sees Sherlock as a friend."

"They seem like quite the pair." A shocked Ivy breathed out.

"They are," Irene nodded in agreement before giving a sad sigh. "It makes me feel for John, it really does." Irene then leaned in as if what she was about to say was a highly guarded secret, but she kept her voice pitched to carry so everyone would hear. "Jim has moved their wedding date three times now, this last time without even informing John he was doing so!" Harley gasps and Irene shakes her head sadly as she sits back again. "I wouldn't put up with it myself, but then again John Watson is a far better person than I could ever hope to be." There were many agreeing nods around the room at that. "It's why he's here, you know. It was to be his way of punishing both Sherlock and Jim since they had run off to play together instead of being there for the wedding, he was giving them a taste of their own medicine by not letting them know where he was. But now it's over and John can't punish them anymore even though they obviously haven't learned their lesson, he's even liable to end up forgiving them now."

" _What?!_ Why would he do that?!" Harley demanded, furious on Dr John's behalf. The others around the room wanted to know too.

"John really is too good a person." Irene gave Ivy a supportive smile to assure her that what she said next wasn't her fault. "Sherlock is one of the most brilliant chemists in the world, and even knowing it was likely to give away his location John still asked him for help on a problem." Harley grabbed Ivy's hand in commiseration and support, it had been John's decision and she shouldn't blame herself for something she didn't know about. "Now two of the most brilliant and manipulative minds in the world will soon be coming to Gotham to win John's forgiveness and to convince him to return to London where they will continue to abuse his kind nature as they have yet to learn any better." Harley looked about ready to spit fire and several others looked similarly defiant. Irene just grinned at a mission accomplished.

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"All of John's patients are about ready to lynch both Jim and Sherlock if they try anything with John, so why don't you look happy?" Irene asked Sebastian as they shared an after dinner drink in her quarters, the sniper just grunted as he sat brooding. "Come now, it's not as if Jimmy or Sherlock know of our plans to sabotage their efforts to get back into John's good graces and are making it so they actually have to work to do so, so what's the problem?" Sebastian sighed and drained half his glass before answering.

"The Administrator informed me today that, do to budget cuts(which is such a load of bull I was surprised it wasn't attracting flies), that I will be running on a skeleton crew, of his handpicked 'finest', in the High-Security Wing, _which is illegal_!" Seb gulped the rest of his drink and Irene wordlessly refilled it. "I'm beginning to think he _wants_ a breakout, at this point the only thing keeping the inmates in are the electronic locks! And I've looked at that system, a child could hack it and shut everything down." Sebastian laid his head on the table and tried not to think about how Moriarty was going to react upon learning how lax security was here, and thus how much danger John was in.

Irene just sat back and pondered over just why anyone would want a breakout of such dangerous people.

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In a city many miles away from Gotham, a man in a red cape was flying around the skyscrapers when he saw a man falling from a well known balcony, racing over he managed to catch the man before he'd fallen too far and was surprised at who he had caught.

"If you are trying to learn to fly might I suggest a shorter ledge next time?" Superman suggested, only to be startled yet again when the billionaire giggled and wrapped his arms around his neck. It was at this point that the flying man realized the falling man was drunk, very drunk.

Flying them both back up to the balcony the other had fallen from, Superman learned something he hadn't known: when Lex Luthor was drunk he got clingy. The only way he was removing the clinging billionaire's arms from around his neck without help was if he broke them, and he wasn't that desperate yet.

Carrying the drunken man inside the extravagant Penthouse, Superman made his way to the kitchen to begin making some coffee to, hopefully, sober the man up enough to let him go. A few minutes later he was settling them on Lex's sofa and trying to coax the billionaire into drinking the hot beverage. After several failed attempts the Kryptonian gave up and finally asked why the other man felt the need to get so drunk, the answer startled and worried him.

" _He's_ coming here. It was bad enough with him over _there_ , but now he's coming _here_. And he wants to borrow my Penthouse _there_ and I can't refuse because it's _him_ , and no one refuses _him_." This explanation was only confusing the caped man more as he didn't know of anyone who could intimidate THE Lex Luthor in such a way. Lex just giggled when he was told this.

"You've led such a sheltered life, Supes, so very sheltered... you should get out of the newsroom more often." Lex giggled as Clark went still in shock, he really hoped that it was just drunken rambling and that his greatest enemy didn't actually know his secret identity. "There's a convention or something in Gotham, all the good hotels are booked full, so _he_ called to ask to borrow my Penthouse there. I had to say yes, no one says no to him. He never forgets..." Clark was really not liking the sound of whoever it was that had reduced Lex to drinking himself into such a scared stupor, it was worrying enough to push his concern over his secret identity being revealed to the back of his mind.

"Who is it, Lex? Who is borrowing your Gotham Penthouse?" If he could get a name he could let Bruce know to be on the look out for them. Lex just curled up and clung tighter to the muscled man, he refused to say another word and eventually fell into a drunken doze.

Clark finally managed to unwind the man's arms from his neck and laid him out on his side on the sofa. He'd go to Gotham tomorrow and talk to Bruce, they could then keep an eye on Lex's Penthouse and see who showed up, but for tonight he was keeping and eye on his drunken arch-nemesis so the man didn't swallow his tongue in his sleep.

)

 _AN: Does anyone want to see more Lex/Superman interactions in here? If not then I only have one more chapter planned involving the man in blue and that'll be that._


	7. Chapter 7

_AN: Sorry for the long wait, but I have good news: I'm not going to lose an eye!  
After my last chapter posted I had an eye exam, they sent me to see a specialist due to a discoloration on my optic nerve and I've been stressing over that- as well as fighting the migrains I get from having my eyes dialated- for the last month and a half. Turns out it's Histoplasmosis, scarring of the optic nerve caused by a common childhood illness, and there's only a 2% chance it'll ever effect my vision. In fact, many people have it and never realize it because it never becomes a problem.  
I am SO relieved! And to celebrate I'm posting the next chapter. :-D_

 _BTW: FFnet was having some problems a while ago so some of you may not have gotten the notification about the last chapter. You might want to go check it out._

 **Disclaimer: If you recognize it then it's not mine.**

Dr Jeremiah Arkham, Chief Psychiatrist and Head Administrator of Arkham Asylum, scowled down at the numbers he'd been sent by his contacts overseas for what seemed to be the millionth time. They were too high to go unnoticed without a major distraction in place to draw attention away form his activities, and all the major distractions were currently locked up and not making a break for it even though he'd practically opened the doors for them already!

It was all the fault of that damned British doctor, Jeremiah internally fumed, the man was doing something to keep the prisoners docile and in place and it was starting to piss him off!

If he wasn't so sure that the man was a spy planted there to catch him out on his less than legal activities then he'd have either bribed the man to look the other way or done away with him already. And now there were three of them!

He needed a way to get rid of them, preferably without bringing any suspicions down on him.

Lips curling in a cruel smile, the Administrator had a sudden and perfect idea that would get him his distraction as well as take care of his spy problem, and it could all be done that night.

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Joker sat in the Patient Interview Room for one of his tri-weekly sessions- upped from the minimum of one a week to the maximum of three a week at his own request- and glared at the phone sitting in front of him. He hadn't thought his request would have been approved so quickly and didn't know if he was quite ready for this yet.

In his Monday session he'd mentioned his, maybe, wanting to talk to Mycroft Holmes directly, to see if hearing the man's voice would trigger any new memories to surface. Now it was Wednesday and he was confronted with the choice of calling Holmes now or waiting until he felt more secure in his desire to do so.

He really should stop underestimating just how far John Watson was willing to go to help a patient, the clown mused.

Glaring harder at the phone, disgusted by his own hesitancy, Joker grabbed the phone and hit send on the number already pulled up.

The call was answered on the third ring.

 _"As it is an even numbered year, we are in the latter half of said year, there was a new moon only two nights ago and there has been at least one leap year since we last spoke then I can only assume you are going by the name Phillip at this time. That is, of course, if you are still adhearing to the naming algorithm you came up with, perhaps you would prefer it if I simply called you Joker as everyone else seems to?"_ As the deep tones of the British accented voice washed over him the Joker had a sudden flash of a tall, ginger, besuited man with legs that went on for miles, then the other's actual words filtered through and he remembered his naming algorithm and couldn't suppress a snicker.

He remembered just how pointlessly convoluted he'd made it, and all for the sole purpose of seeing the exasperated look on the ginger's face whenever he got it wrong. Like now.

"You forgot to factor in the number of hurricanes that made landfall last year as it was the fifth year since you last had to." The short, exsaperated, silence on the other end of the line just made the clown giggle even more insanely.

 _"Ah, yes. Appologies. That woud make you... Carter, until the next full moon. Correct?"_ Joker couldn't help it and burst out into full laughter.

"Oh, My-My, how could I have forgotten how much fun you are to rile up?!" It wasn't until he saw John's head snap up from where the doctor was doing paperwork to give him a small sense of privacy, and the man mouth 'My-My?' questioningly, that the ex-agent turned criminal realized what he'd just called the other man. In a flash he remembered his first meeting with Mycroft Holmes and the completely unimpressed look on the other's face at hearing the juvenile nickname. It made him grin until his face hurt, then and now.

 _"Yes, that was rather... aggrivating. I regret to admit that I had simply assumed you were putting on yet another of your outlandish performances and had left you to your own devices. It was not until two years had passed without either word from you or any advances made in your mission there that I began to suspect that you were not coming back, it pains me to admit that I never even gave a thought to your claimed amnesia being real."_

"So what did you assume then, My-My? That I had chosen to abandon your severices in the most public manner possible instead of retiring peacefully to the country side to raise a family?!" Joker questioned darkly, angry for reasons he couldn't name but thought he should know.

Mycroft cleared his throat, clearly uncomfortable.

 _"Unfortunately, yes. I had expected it for quite sometime, as you would know if you could remember."_ Joker frowned in confusion, Mycroft had sounded ashamed and embarassed and those were not emotions Joker felt fit the pretentious man he was beginning to remembering.

"And just what does that mean?!" Joker fumed, frustrated with knowing he should know something but not knowing what, only that it was important.

 _"...You'll know if you remember."_ Mycroft then hung up his end and Joker stared at the phone in confusion, he had the sense that the other man had been hinting at something but the clown couldn't put his finger on what.

"Did it help?" Joker jumped a bit- he'd forever deny it- having completely forgotten that he wasn't alone in the room. He then snorted at the question.

"I remember how much I like to wind up that pretentious blowhard... and that I like his legs... but not much else." John just nodded encouragingly and didn't press for more, it was perhaps the thing they all liked most about the doctor: he helped and supported without expecting anything in return, not even an explanation when they were clearly holding something back.

"Well, anything is better than nothing." The short blonde then smirked. "But 'My-My'?" Joker grinned at the silly nickname before becoming confused as he remembered something, something that wasn't a memory but that felt important.

"He's... he's My, but he's also **my** My." Joker then frowned and stared at the wall, gaze not really seeing anything as he pondered that revelation and what it could mean.

"Hmm... sounds almost like you had a relationship passed the professional." Joker just nodded, still perplexed over his strange emphasis on the nickname, and not really hearing what John said.

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It was the middle of the night and John was stood over an unconscious orderly, or someone who was dressed like an orderly more likely, who had broken into his room only minutes ago with less than altruistic intentions, and wondering over what he should do now when he heard a commotion in the next room over.

Stepping out into the hall John was just in time to see another not-orderly come flying out of Sebastian's room to land in a heap aginst the far hallway wall and to hear a scream of pain coming from Irene's room, a male scream. Before John could decide on who to go help he was joined by a lightly banged up Sebastian and a barely dressed Irene.

"Three attackers and not one of them with any real training, I'm almost insulted." Seb complained once he saw his two associates- well, one associate and one protectee, though he wasn't foolish enough to ever call John that to his face- were unharmed.

"I had two in my room, though I think the second one was only there to watch." Irene revealed with a satisfied smirk on her lips. Neither man wanted to know what she had done to them.

John, after making sure the other two were uninjured, looked back into his room at the single thug that had been sent after him.

"I feel insulted." He muttered. Then the lights went out and the backups didn't come on.

Running a hand over his face even as he pulled out his phone to act as a flashlight John knew that the night was far from over.

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Edward Nigma, the Riddler, was a light sleeper, like so many others in their private wing of Arkham, so when there was a sudden silence where the quiet hum of the electric locks on their doors should be he was instatly awake and out of bed. A few minutes later he was in the hall with several others, all wondering the same thing: It couldn't be this easy, could it?

Making their way through the disabled and unmanned security points and down to the Common Room, guided by memory and what little moon light filtered into the hall from those few cells blessed with a window, the group grew until it included everyone housed in the High Security Wing.

Upon entering the Common Room many saw the open security door and ran for it, those with a modicum of intellegence noticed the group of three setting up electric lanterns around the sitting area and not trying to stop them.

Riddler held back from his urge to escape the asylum and instead moved with the, surprisingly large, group to see what Dr John and his assistants were doing.

With a lightly strained smile the doctor asked them all to sit before standing before them to speak.

"Now, I know you would all like to leave this place- it is, after all, the first job of any prisoner to try and flee his prison- so thank you for hearing me out first." John gave another strained smile before visibly collecting his thoughts and carrying on. "Just before the power was cut and security grid went offline the three of us were attacked by some thugs dressed as orderlies, most likely to kill us and then blame our deaths on those who broke out."

"Speak for yourself. I'm almost positive they were planning on kidnapping me, most likely to sell me to the highest bidder- if I was lucky." Irene cut in darkly, a frown on her face at the unappealing thought.

"Yes, well, as bad as that is it doesn't take away from the fact that this was an inside job." John then turned back to the group seated around him. "I'm sure you've all noticed the slackening of security around here, and now this... Someone wants you all to break out, probably to cover up their own crimes or to watch the chaos unfold, and while I am almost certain it is the Administrator behind all this I have no proof..." John trailed off before sitting down himself with a sigh, obviously giving them a chance to think about what he said and to decide for themselves if they still wanted to escape to cover up someone else's plots or not.

It was quite the choice to make.

So lost in his own turbulent musings- to escape or to foil someone's attempts to control his actions- was Riddler that he almost missed it when the Joker stood up and began to walk back towards the cells.

"I don't know about the rest of you, but I don't plan to dance to someone else's tune. Besides, if I escape now I won't get to see Dr John for my next appointment! I'm going back to bed." With that shocking decision it was as if a dam broke.

Harley, to no-one's surprise, was the first to follow her Mr J back to the cells, then it became a slow trickle of movement with most following the Joker's lead and going back to bed with only a few deciding to take the opportunity to escape. In the end more would remain than escape, at least in their Ward.

The Riddler was the last to return to his cell, after wishing a pleasant goodnight to the three remaining in the Common Room, not because it had been a hard decision to make but because he had wanted to see who all would leave and who all would stay. And as he lay down on his cot, his cell door wide open for his own amusement, Edward wondered just what reaction the unintellegent sheep of Gotham would have upon learning that their most feared criminals incarcerated at Arkham had _willingly_ stayed put instead of escaping with the rest of the common masses.

At least one thing was assured, Edward mused to himself as he drifted off back to sleep, the Batman was going to be so very confused by their actions.

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Sherlock had nearly solved Dr Isley's issue, he now only had to stabilize his solution, when his phone began to ring. He would have ignored it but it was Jim's annoying ringtone- as set by John, it was the only reason he hadn't set it back to normal- so he picked it up just as the chorus was telling him not to pull the mask off the lone ranger but before it could get to the point that always stroked the other genius' ego.

Sherlock didn't even get a chance at a perfunctory greeting before the he was being yelled at.

"Pack up and get to the airport NOW! There was a breakout at Arkham!" The line had barely gone dead before Sherlock was moving to pack up his research and samples, grabbing his readied travel bag and racing down the stairs where a cab- driven by one of Moriarty's men- was already waiting for him.

Less than two hours after the Gotham PD learned of the mass breakout at the asylum Jim Moriarty and Sherlock Holmes were in the air and on their way across the ocean.

)

 _AN.2: Cookies to anyone who knows what Jim's ringtone is!_

 _And the voting is still open on the Superman/Lex issue. So far I'm tied up on adding more of them in or not._


	8. Chapter 8

_AN: So sorry about the wait but this chapter fought me something fierce, even now it's not everything I want it to be but I just want it done with so I can focus on the next chapter already.. On the bright side I managed to flesh out several other chapters while beating this one into submission so it shouldn't take as long to write up the next one._

 **Disclaimer: If you recognize it then it's not mine.**

Bruce sat sipping his coffee in the early morning sunlight and watching the morning news after a long, and confusing, night. It just didn't make any sense to him that the most violent and volitile criminals he had ever put away had chosen to remain in custody rather than taking advantage of an easy escape.

He'd just been wrapping up his patrol and heading home for some much needed sleep when the call about the breakout had gone out, by the time he had gotten to Arkham the GCPD had already been on scene and rounding up many of the escapees. It had worried everyone that they hadn't seen any of the most dangerous and recognizable criminals during the round up and it had continued to worry them all through the security sweep of the building.

When they had found the majority of the High Security Wing still occupied, though without power or security, and a tired looking trio led by Dr John Watson in the Common Room explaining that they had voluntarily returned to their cells... Bruce would never admit it out loud but he's sure his jaw hit the floor in a disbelieving gape just as many of the police officers' had.

Rubbing his eyes to try and force himself into waking up, he had several meetings at Wayne Enterprises later and it wouldn't do to fall asleep during them, Bruce focused back on the present and the news to see what reactions would be had to the news of the breakout. And especially what the reactions would be about just who _didn't_ escape.

Focusing back on the morning news, Bruce was just in time to see one of the production crew run up to the anchor and whisper something to him even as the co-anchor tried to carry on reporting the reactions of citizens to the latest emergency to befall the city as if nothing was happening right next to her. A moment later and the anchor was cutting into his co-anchor's report.

"We interrupt this report with some breaking news: We have just recieved a phone call from _inside_ Arkham Asylum, from inmate Harley Quinn herself." Bruce sat up to pay closer attention, no longer tired. His first thought was to wonder who she had hurt, or killed, to get ahold of a phone, his second was to wonder why she had called the news station.

"Miss Quinn, are you still with us?" The anchor asked the camera even as a stock picture of Harley Quinn was put up in the corner of the screen.

"Yeah, I'm here. And not to get off topic but it's 'doctor' not 'miss'."

"' _Doctor'?_ But I thought..."

"Yeah, I thought so too. But it turns out that there's a niffty little law that says that the insane can't be stripped of their ability to work, so I'm still a legally licensed psychiatrist! Neat, huh? I've been thinking of opening up a private practice, or maybe doing online psychiatry!" The anchor seemed stunned speechless and Bruce didn't blame him, he'd researched that law thoroughly when he'd first heard of it from Dr Watson and he still could hardly believe it really exsited.

"O-okay... W-well, Mis- uh... _Dr_ Qui-"

" _Harley!_ It's Dr Harley. We don't live in the wild west, after all." The anchor seemed frozen for a moment before being obviously prompted from off screen and rallying.

"Yes, of course. Dr Harley." The anchor looked to the side of the camera for a moment before focusing back on his audience and squaring his shoulders. "Can we ask if the rumors are true? Did no one from the High Security Wing of Arkham even try to escape last night when given the chance?"

"Well, yes and no. A few left when they got the chance, but they weren't really HSW material, ya know? I mean, they'd killed a few people but they weren't, like, _villians_ or anything. It was pretty insulting to have them lumped in with us, actually. But the majority of us, those of us ya'll in the business call the 'Rogues of Gotham' when talking about us as a group, stayed."

"Well, that's... good. But... why? Why did you all stay?"

"'Cause Dr John is here! And if we were to leave we wouldn't be able to have sessions with him no more."

"Doctor... John?" The anchor looked off camera, clearly hoping someone had some information on the new doctor.

"Uh-huh. Dr John Watson. He's the new doc for the HSW and the best we've ever had! He treats us like people who need and deserve help rather than like science experiments, human test subjects or scum that should be ignored at best and beaten down at worst." Harley then sighed sadly. "I'm really gonna miss him once his contract is up, I might even follow him home to London once he's gone if we don't get another good doc in." Silence fell on the studio, even Bruce felt shocked at that statement. It was just really hard to imagine one of the infamous Rogues leaving Gotham, and to follow their doctor no less.

"Uh.." The anchor cleared his throat, clearly not knowing what to say next, before taking a paper his co-anchor passed him and reading it, he then refocused back on the camera. "Dr Harley, can you tell us who all exactly is still locked up with you?"

"Sure! Though 'locked up' is a bit of a stretch. The security for our wing got completely fried, it's gonna take them a month to replace."

"None of you are locked up?!" The co-anchor yelled in shock, looking like they didn't know if they should faint or run screaming.

"Nope! And I gotta say it's a big improvement already. You have no idea how annoying it was to have to wait for security to open the doors in the morning to leave my cell."

Neither the anchor or the co-anchor seemed to know what to say to that, but they were saved from having to figure something out by a commotion coming over Harley's line.

"Breakfast is here! I gotta go now, Dr John said I could borrow his phone for only as long as it took for him to get our catering brought up from the front gate."

"C-Catering?"

"Yeah. Since we ain't got no security up here the Administrator decided we should be completely cut off from the rest of the asylum for it's security." Harley snorted out a laugh and Bruce silently agreed that that made no sense. "It mostly means no kitchen access, so instead we're calling in takeout. I really got to go now else Eddie'll eat all the pancakes. So, bye!" The line then clicked silent and the stunned forms of the anchors were left on screen a moment until it blanked for commercials and Bruce turned it off.

Gazing down at his now cold coffee, Bruce pondered not for the first time about just what it was that made Dr John Watson so well liked by everyone. His phone ringing pulled him from his musings. Seeing tht it was Clark's number Bruce didn't hesitate to answer.

"Morning, Clark. How are things in Metropolis?"

"Morning, Bruce. Things are fairy quite, though Lois is on the warpath about getting an interview with a visiting dignitary so I haven't been able to slip away for more than a minute... it's why I'm calling instead of coming to see you in person."

"Oh?"

"Yes. You see... I caught Luthor falling off his balcony last night, he was rather drunk, and he told me something I felt needed to be passed along."

"What is it?"

"Well, do you happen to know where Lex's Penthouse in Gotham is? You'll probably want to keep a close eye on it for a while..."

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Jim let himself and Sherlock into Lex's Penthouse not long after they landed, and confirmed that John had been unharmed during the breakout, and immediately seperated. Neither man said a word even as they removed several bugs from every room they passed through, though by unspoken consensus they left one of the ones in the kitchen alone so the planter would think they still had access.

Jim was thinking of brushing up on his Gaelic just to mess with the listener.

Jim eventually took his and John's bags to the Master Bedroom to put everything away just like it was in their own bedroom- even placing John's half-read fantasy novel and spare phone charger on the left side nightstand for easy access- so that once John came to stay he'd be comfortable. He then found Luthor's office, which was delightfully filled with state of the art computers that he easily gained access to despite their heavy security features, and spent the next several hours accessing all the security cameras- both public and private- in the city and routing them all through a program of his own design that would monitor all the feeds and then alert him to certain preset patterns and/or scenarios occuring. He woud _not_ be caught unawares or flatfooted when the flying rodent eventually made his appearance.

Night was falling when Jim finally left the office to find some food and his traveling companion. The food was easy, the kitchen had been fully stocked in anticipation of their arrival, finding Sherlock was not.

The Boffin's bags, his clothing ones at least, were still in the entrance hall- Jim was nice enough to kick them down the hall and into a guest room, though that may have been just so he wouldn't trip over them- but there was no sign of the lanky detective, or the man's research.

Deciding to think like Sherlock for a moment, Jim quickly deduced just where the other man would have gone.

Going back to the kitchen and into the pantry, Jim found the release mechanism that allowed one wall of shelves to swing inwards to reveal the secret laboratory that Luthor had had built into the center most space of his Penthouse- most people wouldn't have noticed the discrepancies in room size compared to the overall size of the Penthouse, but neither he nor Sherlock were 'most people' and had both noticed and known what it meant.

Inside the secret lab sat Sherlock, hunched over a microscope while several of the machines around him whirred and dinged, he'd obviously put the well appointed lab to good use- and was probably thinking how best to steal most of the equipment and smuggle it home for his own use.

Jim didn't bother to say anything, he just set down a cup of tea and some toast for the other before leaving again to read a book or topple a government or something. They may be in Gotham but they still wouldn't approach John until they had something to help Dr Isley, with no immediate threat to his health or safety it wouldn't do to just walk on in and expect John to simply forgive them on sight.


	9. Chapter 9

_AN: A new chapter after only a week? Why yes, yes it is._

 **Disclaimer: Don't own.**

John scrubbed a hand over his face to try and clear his exhaustion, the day had been too long already and was hardly over with yet.

First had been the rude wake up call followed by the breakout and dealing with the police and making an official report on the sequence of events as well as he knew them- no one seemed to believe that he, Sebastian and Irene had been attacked BEFORE the breakout, they just thought them all addled from the excitement. It hadn't helped that their rooms had been trashed and there was no sign of their attackers.

Next had come dealing with the Administrator basically dumping all responsibility for the HSW on his shoulders, including meal deliveries. Surprisingly it had been easy to set up a catering schedule, most of his patients had people on the outside willing and ready to do as they say, even for something as simple as take-out delivery.

The afternoon, when he'd thought he'd get a chance to rest, had been taken up in a drawn out argument with his patients, and his staff, over sleeping arrangements. Not theirs, his. They were worried about his safety and wanted him closer so they could keep an eye on him. It seemed that where the police didn't believe them concerning the attacks on them the criminals they were in charge of had no problem doing so.

The argument came to an abrupt end when he found his possessions had been unceremoniously moved into one of the unused cells while he'd been distracted. Irene just grinned at his glare as she helped Ivy and Harley to set up his 'new room', hers and Sebastian's on either side of his like before.

Finally there had been a short meeting with the Administrator about security- John had had to bite back a few choice comments during that meeting about 'security'- and how John would be the only one authorized to meet with the delivery staff at the Gate for all meal deliveries to the HSW, so if John wasn't there to meet them on time then they would be turned away and his patients would starve.

Sebastian had quickly noted how easily an ambush could be set up with such a long walk and set schedule and had volunteered to accompany John for each meal run to 'help him get it all in while it was still warm'.

No one doubted at this point that the Administrator was behind the recent breakout, or that he wanted the Rogues to escape, but they still had no proof the police would believe so could do nothing official. Though it did make the Rogues a bit happier, knowing they were pissing someone off by not leaving.

So now here John was, exhausted and standing by the Gate as Sebastian helped some very intimidating looking men load a bunch of Chinese food onto a trolly for the long walk back up to the HSW, and wondering how it was that he always ended up in the middle of power plays by dangerous individuals.

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Batman lay along a rooftop, eyes pressed to a set of binoculars and a speaker on his belt tuned to his one remaining bug- he was glad these two didn't seem as efficient as Dr Watson in finding and removing them- when a cool breeze blew across him. He didn't bother looking up or away from where his targets were entering the kitchen and... making tea.

"I thought you couldn't get away from Metropolis."

"Lois got herself arrested for causing a disturbance at a restaurant while trying to get an interview with that dignitary, so Perry demanded I head home before I got myself implicated and he lost both of his top reporters in one fell swoop. I decided to swing by and see how things where going here instead." A beat of silence passed between them. "There seems to be two of them."

"And no telling which one is the one frightening Luthor into drinking and diving off high-rise balconies."

The pair of Heroes watch for a few minutes, each in their own way, as the pair in the Penthouse silently went about their task. Once it was obvious they weren't going to see anything useful anytime soon Batman stood up and turned to face his friend.

"I have the place bugged, if anything comes up I'll let you know."

"Thanks. And if I manage to learn anything more on my end I'll pass it along." The man in black nodded before jumping off the side of the building. Superman gave the pair in the Penthouse one last assessing look before flying away.

Neither realized that there had been a discussion being held that they hadn't been privy to, but that they had been a central part of.

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It was early evening when Jim's phone vibrated with an alert. With a smirk he strode into Luthor's, now Sherlock's, secret lab to bother the other man.

"Want to mess with a Hero who likes peeping in on people?" Sherlock made a few more notations to his notes before nodding and standing up to follow Jim into the kitchen, the place with the best view of the surrounding rooftops and the only active bug left.

Jim got the kettle out and began filling it while Sherlock got the cups out, he tapped one absently and with no pattern but Jim heard 'How did he find us so quickly?' anyway.

Jim huffed a breath, ran a hand through his hair and looked around the kitchen lazily. Sherlock took that as 'Obviously Luthor said something to tip off Superman, and we both know how heroes like to gossip.'

Sherlock snorted in amused agreement to that assessment even as Jim's phone buzzed with another alert.

Jim looked at it then slowly let his eyes wander to the windows to trace dust motes floating in the air. Sherlock took that as 'Our observer has just been joined by the flying annoyance.'

Sherlock sighed as he pulled out the tea bags from their cupboard and set them in the cups, pushing the one with the black lable towards Jim while pulling the blue labled one towards himself. 'If they become a problem then you deal with Batman and I'll take care of Superman.'

Jim poured the water into the cups slowly while raising a brow. 'I'm fine with that, but are you sure you can handle him on your own?'

Sherlock just gave Jim a very pointed Look. 'I wouldn't have offered if I couldn't handle him.'

Jim smirked before then throwing Sherlock a wink. 'Then we have a deal, just don't mess it up.'

Sherlock scoffed. 'I would never.'

Jim rolled his eyes as he took up his cup just as his phone vibrated twice to signal the all clear.

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Bruce, though tired after being up for going on forty-eight hours, made his way to and inside Arkham, hoping to learn something useful about the breakout after the flop of a stakeout he'd just left. He had barely made it to the HSW level when he turned a corner and found a frowning John Watson waiting for him.

"I've had a _very_ long day and do not have the patients to deal with your cloak and dagger routine right now." John said pointedly while leveling Bruce with a Look that he'd only ever seen on Alfred's face after he'd made a mess and not picked it up. "We are about to sit down for dinner, you will either join us or go home and get some sleep as I doubt you have gotten any either. There is no third option so don't go trying to find one." With one last pointed Look, John turned on his heel and resumed heading for the Common Room.

Bruce, shocked by the order, followed Dr Watson out of instinct as he contemplated his choices: either join his enemies for dinner and possibly gain some intelligence, if he surrvived, or leave. The third option of skulking around and eavesdropping wasn't really an option do to the good doctor's uncanny ability to know when he was there.

Before he was ready to decide they had reached the door to the Common Room and Bruce could hear the low chatter coming from inside of a large group of people getting ready to share a meal together. A group of people who had all tried to kill him at one point or another.

John stood in the open doorway of the Common Room and looked back at his silent shadow with a raised brow. When the other man didn't move John let out a sigh and stepped back into the hall to gently take the armour clad man's arm.

"Come on, then, nothing to be worried about tonight." John said reassuringly as he led the taller man inside.

With only mild reluctance, and telling himself he wasn't comforted by the jumper clad man's reassurances, Bruce let himself be led into the lion's den for dinner. And hoped he wouldn't become said dinner.


	10. Chapter 10

_AN: As a celebration for getting a chapter up in a timely manner I'm posting another chapter! Impressed? I am. :-)_

 **Disclaimer: So don't own, but so wish I did.**

Harley looked up with a wide grin as Dr John finally returned after his 'brief detour'- Seb's words- from bringing up their food. Her smile quickly dropped at seeing him hesitate in the doorway and look back into the hall, she was sure that everyone was present so there should be no reason for him to be talking to anyone out there. She began moving to go see if he was alright when he stepped back out the door. But then he returned just as quickly, and with someone else in tow.

Her gasp of shock gained the attention of many of those around her and soon the Common Room was silent as everyone stared at the pair in the doorway.

The calm atmosphere of only a moment before suddenly evaporated and a tension filled the room as everyone readied themselves for a fight.

It was, of course, Dr John who broke the stalemate and released the tension before it could turn into a brawl.

"It has been a long day for everyone and we are all tired, so instead of making it longer by fighting why don't we all sit down for some dinner and, possibly, some light conversation before we all head to bed for some much needed sleep?" Harley didn't think it likely anyone would just sit down for a peaceful dinner with the Batman right there with them, but then she noticed the disbelieving and slightly condescending look that the Bat was giving her Dr John- a look that just screamed 'Are you an idiot? They will never go for that!'- and she just had to prove him wrong.

Picking up a carton of chicken and rice, Harley skipped over to the pair at the door- finding amusement at the way Batman tensed at her approach and eyed the chopsticks in her hand like a deadly weapon, which, of course, she could totally turn them into- and presented it to her favorite doctor with a smile.

"Anything you say, Dr John! We'll play nice so long as he does!" Harley then turned a challenging look on the black clad man who set his jaw stubbornly before nodding stiffly. With a wide smile at having forced a truce agreement, Harley returned to piling a plate high with her favorites before taking a seat in between her Puddin'- whose look of disinterested boredom wasn't doing Batman's blood pressure any favors if she had to guess- and Ivy on one of the sofas that had been moved along with many of the chairs to make a large circle around the room.

Soon everyone was following her lead and taking a seat to eat. No one missed how Dr John maneuvered Batman to one of the chairs closest to the door, and escape, and dished up for him. Most found it funny that the big bad Bat was allowing himself to be protected by the short and cuddly doctor.

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After several minutes of silent and tense eating, Irene decided to break the conversational standoff that was taking place.

"Seeing as how _all_ of John's patients are now present," several eyes turned towards the bat in their midst in dawning comprehension, "I was thinking we could have a Group Session. Clear the air of any interpersonal problems anyone might have." John shot her a glare for springing this on him and she just smiled, she hadn't become a successful Dominatrix by not knowing how to read people and give them what they needed rather than what they asked for.

"It would be entirely voluntary for anyone who chooses to participate. There will be no pressure to speak up, but you will need to be considerate of anyone who does wish to do so and of what they have to say." John assured everyone while laying down the rules, not wanting anyone to feel as if they had to take part when they didn't want to and also not wanting anyone who did speak up to feel bullied for what they may reveal.

It was Harley who, while biting her lip in nervousness, set her plate down and spoke up.

"I'll go first. There's somethin' I've been meaning to get off my chest for a bit now." John gave her an encouraging smile as she took a deep breath and turned towards the Joker, who barely looked at her with a raised brow while continuing to eat. "Mista J? I need you to know that you- you'll always be my Puddin', and I'll always love ya, but... but I'm not _in_ love with ya like I thought. Can... Are you okay with that? Can we still be friends?" Harley bit her lip in trepidation while everyone- baring John and Joker- looked on in confused shock.

Harley Quinn was, eccentually, dumping the Joker; a man she had killed for and followed for years. No one knew what to do or say in the wake of that revelation.

Joker finally looked up from his spicy noodles to the distressed blonde at his side and shrugged.

"I was kinda wondering when you'd figure it out." Harley gaped, as did many others.

"You- you knew?" Joker rolled his eyes.

"Of course I knew! You don't get into someone's head and mess them about until they go obsessively insane without getting to know them. The only part that surprises me is that it's taken you this long to realize it!" Harley began tearing up at Joker's words and everyone braced themselves for a tantrum.

"Mista J, you are just the best!" Harley then burst into tears and latched herself onto Joker as she bawled. "How did I ever get so lucky as to have sucha good friend like you?!" Looking bored yet resigned, Joker patted Harley on the back until she stopped crying and sat back up.

Ivy handed the blonde back her plate and, after just a few minutes, it was as if the crying session had never taken place as Harley's wide smile lit up the room once more.

"That felt good getting that off my chest! Who wants to go next?"

Ivy chose to go next. She told everyone about her seasonal problem, about asking Batman for help in finding a 'birth control' that would help her without killing her and about her hopes for children in the future once she's decided on who the father should be. At the end she gave a querying look at Batman who grimaced and shook his head.

"I'm sorry, Ivy, but every solution I've come up with so far would either kill you or leave you sterile. I'm following every lead I can but it will probably be months, if not years, before a solution is found." Ivy looked caught between bursting into tears and flying into a murderous rage at that confession before she took several deep breaths to calm herself and curled up in her corner of the sofa, visible pulling away from the group to try and get a hold of her raging emotions that her hormones were making it almost impossible to control. Harley leaned in against her in a show of support even as Irene walked over to join them.

It was Two-Face, sitting in a chair on the other side of Ivy, that spoke up and drew attention away from the small pile of females forming on the sofa.

"I've been blaming Batman for years for turning me into what I am, but I've realized that it really was just an accident. It could have been prevented, yes, but it was still only an accident." He then looked right at the shocked Bat. "I still don't like you, I don't think I ever will, but I no longer blame you." After that, yet another shocking confession, the circle kept moving, with some choosing to take part and others sitting out their turn- notably Batman had nothing to say to the group- before it came back around to where Joker was sitting.

All eyes focused on the clown, hoping to learn what had been keeping his attention and making him so subdued lately.

"Mista J? Would ya mind telling us what, uh... why ya been acting so... Can ya tell us what ya been up to recently?" Harley asked for everyone, even a still subdued Ivy perking up to hear the answer.

Joker looked up at everyone's hopeful expressions, even Batman looking intrigued, and snorted.

"I've been learning about who I was before I became me and trying to regain my lost memories now that I know enough details to begin leveraging them out with." Harley gasps in glee as everyone else went wide-eyed- Batman in full shock- at the realization that the Joker really hadn't known who he had been before.

A shiver then went down the spines of many in the room as they wondered just how much more destructively dangerous the clown would be once he remembered his past as he was already an agent of chaos without those memories and the knowledge sure to come with them!

Harley was nearly vibrating in her seat, excited for her Puddin' to finally know who he once was. She'd been the only psychiatrist he'd had that actually believed his claim of amnesia and had always wanted to help him remember.

"So what did you do before you became you, Mista J? Were you a theif bent on robbing Gotham's elite while playing with the cops? An assasin for the mob? A nightclub comedian trying to earn some money to support your growing family?!" Joker rolled his eyes at Harley's increasingly ridiculous guesses.

"Turns out I did _his_ job," nods towards Batman whose eyes go wide, "only on a global scale and with Government backing." Shocked and disbelieving, everyone turned to John for confirmation, knowing he was too honest to lie about something like this and was the most likely person to have told Joker about his past.

John gave a nod to confirm what Joker had said even as said man got up to go to bed. A thoughtful silence fell across the group who soon broke up to find their own beds, Batman silently slipping out the door.

It was almost too incredible to believe that the Joker had once been a good guy.

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Bruce ducked into the kitchen once he got home just to watch as Alfred went about his evening routine. He knew he should go to bed and get a full night's sleep for once, but he was just feeling too rattled by everything he had learned that night and wanted the comforting presence of his mentor.

Joker having Government backing... it was a frightening thought, one liable to give him nightmares.

Bruce jerked awake, not knowing when he'd fallen asleep and nor knowing when he'd been led to the table and sat down, when a plate of chocolate french toast and a mug of Alfred's special cocoa were placed in front of him. A treat reserved only for those times Alfred suspected he was running himself ragged.

"Eat up, young Master, and then it's off to bed with you. Anything you need worry about will keep until morning." Smiling at his old friend, Bruce dug into the treat set before him just as he had done many times as a child and finally felt himself begin to relax.

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Sherlock grinned even as he stumbled out of the lab, through the kitchen, down the hall and slammed the door to the Master bedroom open.

Ignoring the gun pointed at his head, the tall brunet dropped a vial full of an opaque liquid and his notes on the other geniuses lap before collapsing across the duvet and falling asleep, the first sleep he had allowed himself since beginning to work on Dr Isley's case.

Jim smirked as he held the vial in his hand, knowing this meant Sherlock had finished and they could now go see John with the good news.

Once Sherlock awoke in the morning they would head over to Arkham and present the vial and notes to John and reap the rewards of his happiness- ie: his forgiveness.

Setting the vial and notes on the nightstand, putting the gun back under John's pillow where the good doctor always kept it, and absently pushing Sherlock off the bed to the floor- Jim wasn't about to share his bed with anyone but his Johnny, though as a reward for solving Dr Isley's problem in such a timely manner he did drop a blanket over the boffin- Jim turned over and went back to sleep with a smile on his face.

In less than a day he woud have his Johnny back in his arms. He just couldn't wait.


	11. Chapter 11

_AN: And our boys finally go to see John! Though it doesn't turn out quite like they were thinking it would. ;-)_

 **Disclaimer: If you recognize it then it ain't mine.**

It was midmorning when Sherlock finally woke up from his post science-binge exhaustion. An hour later and both he and Jim were walking through the front gates of Arkham as if they had done so a thousand times already.

They were utterly horrified at the lack of the security, and just after a mass breakout too.

It was no wonder the infamous Rogues of Gotham had stayed, they both mused as they passed security checkpoints that waved them through simply because they were wearing suits, they could leave anytime they liked with minimal fuss and barely any planning.

The pair were making mental notes of all the security issues they were seeing, and not likeing that their John was staying here one bit, and were nearly to the HSW when a high pitched voice suddenly caught their attention from one of the side rooms.

"I know you two! Dr John has a picture of ya two and him on his nightstand!" The blonde in patient scrubs that had called to them then got a thoughtful expression on her face. "But what are ya doin' here without callin' ahead first? I don't think Dr John would appreciate a surprise visit after everything that has happened recently." Her manic grin then made a reappearance as she clapped her hands and clasped them in front of her. "But don't you two worry about that too much, we'll make sure he knows ya'll are here and can see ya when he's ready ta do so!" Jim and Sherlock were just realizing they had been purposefully stalled when they felt themselves begin to lose consciousness and fall to the floor.

The last thing they heard before blackness took them was the manic blonde asking someone unseen "I thought they was supposed ta be smart?" and a slightly deeper and far more sultry voice answering "Too smart to see what was right in front of them, or what they were breathing in."

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Jim came to slowly, making a mental note to find out what had been used on them and get himself a supply- it would make abductions go a lot smoother.

Slowly shifting his arms and legs to see if he'd been tied up- he had but not by rope or handcuffs- Jim was only partly startled by a deep voice coming from behind him.

"Don't bother being subtle, no one is here to watch us. Not that it would make a difference." Though muttered Jim still heard the last part so opened his eyes in curiosity of what the other man meant.

He quickly closed his eyes again as they burned from the sheer amount of whiteness surrounding them. Pressing his face to the floor he lay on to try and soothe his burning eyes Jim realized that it wasn't just his arms and legs that had been bound.

Slowly opening his eyes so that they could adjust, Jim found himself looking at a white wall that matched the white floor he was laying on and a white ceiling far above where he lay. And it all looked to be padded.

Wiggling around, which was hard to do when your legs where bound together from knee to ankle and you couldn't use your arms, Jim finally managed to turn to his other side to get a look at Sherlock.

Jim couldn't suppress his mirthful laughter if he had tried, and so he didn't try.

The glaring brunet was sitting propped up aganst a wall, torso tightly bound in a straight-jacket, legs bound in another straight-jacket, cloth booties on his feet so he coudn't even try to undo the restraints with his toes and- the best part as far as Jim was concerned- a Hannibal Lecter style muzzle mask hidding the lower half of his face.

Even knowing that he was probably wearing the exact same setup- which he was- couldn't stop Jim from laughing at the ridiculousness of their situation.

They had broken into an asylum to see their doctor and now they were locked in a padded cell by the patients. John was never going to let them live this down!

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Harley, Ivy and Irene were sitting in the Hospital Wing, going over Sherlock's notes for the 'birth control' serum he had developed- Ivy was very excited, though cautious, she didn't want to be injecting just anything into her system- and occasionally checking the feed from the web cam Irene had set up in the isolation room they had placed their catch in.

They'd tell John about them being there... eventually. Just not yet. Maybe after dinner? Or perhaps at breakfast the next day...

"I would never have thought of going this route! How did he even come up with the idea to use a plant derived neurotoxin as a base? It's brilliant and solves so many problems!" Ivy gushed as she went over the notes detailing how the serum was made. She may have been developing a bit of a crush.

"He's Sherlock Holmes, that's the only excuse he needs. He appitamizes the phrase 'Brainy is the new sexy'. And, by that logic, he's the sexiest man alive." Irene smiled indulgently, recognizing the signs of yet another woman falling for the unpersuadable man.

"You are so biased!" Harley giggled, not seeing what was so special about the curly haired man, her Puddin' was way smarter, and soon the other two were joining her.

Ivy then got quiet and thoughtful, a small smirk playing around her full lips.

"He is rather handsome, and very smart... both are good traits to pass along to the next generation..." Harley gasped.

"Red! Are you planning on having lil'Sherly babies?!" Ivy just smirked, clearly thinking about it.

"He's married to his work, you know." Irene warned, not wanting the other woman to get her hopes up only to have them dashed by Sherlock's rejection. "He barely even looked at me when I offered him everything I had. The only person he'd likely go for is John, and _he's_ in love with the King of Crime!" Ivy's smirk never faultered at Irene's declaration, if anything it simply grew wider.

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John was coming to speak with Irene about any supplies she might need restocked when he saw Sherlock's scrawl written across some notes on her desk. Pinching the bridge of his nose to stave off a headache, John asked where they were.

"The second isolation room. We thought it best that you saw them in your own time and not when they chose to barge in." John gave her a flat look.

"And just how long have they been in there?" Irene just smirked. John sighed. "At least tell me that they had something for Dr Ivy?"

"Oh, yes. Ivy is quite happy with what she's seen so far and is only waiting for you to give the go ahead so she can start treatment."

"Then I best let them out so I can discuss whatever it was he came up with with Sherlock. I'd rather know what it is I'll be giving a patient _before_ I have to deal with any side-effects from it." With that John moved to the back of the Hospital Wing and the isolation rooms there.

Opening the door of the only locked room it took John a minute to understand what he was seeing, then it took another minute to lose his battle with his laughter, and finally it took him several minutes to regain his composure under the unimpressed stares of the two trussed up geniuses in the room.

"Visiting hours are over, boys," John said with a giggle in his voice, "it's time to go." The pair simply glared from their heap on the floor, where they had obviously been trying to find a weakness in the restraints but had instead come off looking like two fish out of water flopping around on the floor together, and setting John off once more.

The poor man was laughing so hard he had to stagger away and let Irene handle getting them released and back into their clothes. Which she did, but not before she took some pictures to go along with the video she had from the web cam.


	12. Chapter 12

_AN: Another Joker heavy chapter! It gets a little angsty but it picks back up again at the end. Enjoy! :-D_

 **Disclaimer: Not mine! And that makes me very sad.**

Irene smirked at the glaring men as she handed the two geniuses their clothing after releasing them from their restraints.

"Dinner will be here in an hour, we went ahead and ordered enough for the two of you as well if you want to stick around." She moved to the exit before hesitating and looking back. "A friendly warning: all those dangerously insane and homicidal patients of John's adore him, about as much as the two of you do, so I'd hold my tongue and not do anything to upset their 'Dr John' if I were you. You are dangerously outnumbered, after all." Jim and Sherlock share a look as she finally left them to get dressed.

In the look is a mutual thought: Things were definetly not going to be boring while they were here.

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Though happy to see his lover and his best friend, John was still not willing to forgive the two idiot geniuses; and he knew if he gave them a chance they'd have his forgivness in a heartbeat, so he chose to ignore, to the best of his abilities- which were quite good- the two men that had chosen to remain instead of leaving as he'd suggested and who were now poking about his office as he finished up some paperwork.

He tuned them out as they complained about the lack of security in the _High-_ Secuity Wing as they followed him down to the front gate to pick up dinner- pizza this time.

He refused to be impressed with their deductions about the catering crew- apparently they were Riddler's men this time, and under orders to protect him if they saw him in danger of any kind.

On the way back to the Common Room it was harder to tune them out as they pointed out all the perfect ambush points and blind spots in security, what little there was of it, that could be taken advantage of- Sebastian took notes the whole way up.

It wasn't until they reached the Common Room that he could no longer ignore them, and it wasn't because of anything they themselves did.

Joker had been talking with Ivy and Harley, explaining some of the chemistry equations in Sherlock's notes that the botonist hadn't understood, when the group of four entered and he went quiet. Joker's focus immediatly honed in on the curly haired detective among them and people got out of his way as he strode towards him.

"I know you from somewhere." Joker stated as he stopped a hair's breadth away from the younger man.

Sherlock, for his part, leaned back and looked the other man over for a minute before going paler than normal and turning slightly green. Joker's eyes lit up in recognition then.

"You're the younger brother that doesn't know how to knock!" Joker yelled in excitement as he pointed at Sherlock. He then got a dazed look in his eyes as his face went slack and he swayed in place. "We were celebrating with library sex because he said yes..." His eyes went wide. " _He said yes!_ " Joker then turned to John with a desperate look. "I need your phone!" John handed the phone over and the whole room watched as the Clown Prince of Crime made his way back towards the cells, and some privacy, as he dialed out.

Joker was almost through the doors when the other party finally picked up.

"My-My! Sweetie! Darling! My precious fiancee! Can you ever forgive me?!"

The Common Room was dead silent for several long minutes while everyone digested the fact that the Joker had a fiancee, or at least had one before he became the Joker.

John clearing his throat pulled everyone out of their shock.

"Alright, these pizzas are not going to eat themselves. So if everyone would be so kind as to finish clearing the table?" People began moving again and soon a space was made for the food and everyone began dishing up. John then turned his attention to Jim and a still green looking and dazed Sherlock.

"Tonight is not a night for any sort of talk, so if you could take him back to wherever it is you are staying and see to it that he sleeps off whatever Mycroft related trauma it is that he's reliving I'd appreciate it." Jim look mutanous for a moment before sighing and nodding his agreement. John rewarded him with a warm smile. "Thank you." Jim smiled back, content that their relationship was already on the mend, as he began to guide a dazed Sherlock from the building.

Soon it was only the inmates and the three members of staff set to 'guard' them in the Common Room, quiet conversations about Joker's fiancee popping up all over as everyone ate.

Eventually Joker returned to the Common Room, looking resigned, and retuned John's phone. No one said anything as the Clown grabbed a whole box for himself before heading back to his cell, they didn't really know what to make of this new less-manic Joker.

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Joker couldn't stop staring at the tall, curly haired man that had walked in with John. There was something so... familiar about him.

Going up to the man, telling him that he knew him from somewhere, Joker hoped to jog a memory loose. As the man turned green Joker got more than the single memory he had been hoping for as everything came back to him.

"You're the younger brother that doesn't know how to knock!" _Everything_ came flooding back.

His saint of a mother and his drunkard of a father. The gang whose harassment of them finally drove her to leave them and his retaliation on them for it.

His path of destruction across twenty states and nine countries- the authorities didn't know even _half_ the things he'd gotten up to during his rebellious teen years.

His playing with the alphabet agencies until they got boring and tried to kill him. Calling MI6 and convincing them it was their idea to recruit him.

Raining hell down on Britain's enemies as an official agent.

Training James because he was bored and saw a potential for pandemonium in him.

Savoring the look of fear in M's eyes whenever she had to discipline him, them both knowing he was only there on his own whim and for his own amusement but was too useful to be dismissed.

Being transfered to Mycroft's office as no one else wanted to try and handle him anymore.

Being offered the chance to spread his brand of chaos further than ever before and not be chastised for his methods.

Realizing he had made a friend in his handler.

Realizing that he had fallen in love...

Proposing... "We were celebrating with library sex because he said yes..."

He remembered that Gotham was to be his last mission before the wedding, the wedding between he and My... because My said yes! " _He said yes!_ "

Caught up in the whirlwind of emotions stirred up by his returned memories, Joker knew only one thing for certain: he had to call My, had to make things right. Thankfully John easily handed over his phone without asking any questions and it was soon ringing.

A drawled hello was like music to Joker's ears.

"My-My! Sweetie! Darling! My precious fiancee! Can you ever forgive me?!" Silence answered him for several beats and he began to worry that the answer would be 'no'.

"You've finally remembered then." The bland tone made the Clown wince, he knew the other well enough to know that that tone meant he was hurt and trying to hide it.

"Yes, I remember everything now. Every last detail that wasn't in that file you sent over. My... you know I wouldn't have abandoned you like that if I'd been given a choice, right?" A regret filled tension sprang up between them.

"What I knew and what I had felt are two entirely different things. It is why I have always maintain that caring is not an advantage, it causes lapses in judgment and reasoning. It is why I believed you had left me in a rather spectacular way instead of realizing that you were in need of help."

Silence descended between them then, both men reminiscing over their lost years and what might have been. It was Joker who broke the silence.

"You've moved on and met someone new. Someone who is more stable and less likely to break your heart, even on accident." Mycroft let out a breath then and gave a quiet chuckle.

"And you still know me better than anyone else has ever done." Joker grinned at that, knowing it to be a truth that went both ways.

"Are they good to you?" He couldn't help but ask, needing to be sure his My- whom he had only just remembered and was now losing- was happy.

"He works well with and gets along with Sherlock and doesn't ask questions about my work... I am content with him."

"Good. Good... I want you to be happy..." Joker licked his lips, looking for something, anything, else he could say. "Now that I remember what I always seemed to be holding onto maybe I can move on myself."

"Your Batman, I suppose?" Joker laughed at My's dry and unimpressed tone, knowing just what the other man's opinion would be of the Dark Knight of Gotham.

"He reminds me of you in certain ways. It might be why I could never bring myself to kill him."

They fell silent once more, both realizing that this was the final end to a relationship that had died the moment Joker had fallen into that vat of chemicals.

"You were my first love, My."

"I know."

Silence.

"Goodbye, Mycroft Holmes."

"Goodbye, Joker."

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Jim propped Sherlock up in the kitchen as he got the taller man a glass of water to help settle his stomache- Sherlock had thrown up twice on the way back to the Penthouse, both times complaining about how he had deleted that memory and why hadn't it stayed deleted- as well as dissolving something in it to force him to sleep like John wanted the man to do.

Trying to get the boffin to focus to drink, Jim was soon pierced by a set of wild blue eyes that were seeing into the past rather than the present.

"I just wanted a book... Why would they do that in the library? I just wanted a _book_!" Rolling his eyes, he wasn't about to explain to the asexual man the joys of sex in public settings, Jim forced the other man to drink the spiked water before stepping back to start making himself some tea and dinner.

"What I find disturbing is that your brother was engaged to the man who became the Joker. I never would have thought he had such a wild side to him." A thump answered his statement as the Consulting Detective passed out, a combination of the drugs he'd been slipped on an empty stomache and mental overload, and Jim smirked. If that was Sherlock's reaction he wondered what their listener's reaction would be.

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Bruce sat dazed in his cave for he knew not how long before Alfred came to usher him up to bed.

The Joker- _The JOKER!-_ had been engaged? And to a _man_?

He really needed to find out who the two in the Penthouse were. Find out who the one's brother was.

He needed to know just who had been able to catch and keep the Joker's attention, even if it had been before he had been the Joker.

He needed to know... for reasons. Yes, for reasons.

It had nothing to do with the sudden spike of jealousy he had felt. Nothing at all.

In fact he hadn't felt jealous at all... and he would keep telling himself that until he believed it.

)

 _AN.2: For anyone interested, Jim left Sherlock passed out on the kitchen floor all night. Mostly for his own amusement but also because he was disappointed that John wasn't there to guilt him into helping the man to bed. :-)_


End file.
